In episode 320, we address a betrayed partner’s heartbreaking story of separation turning into divorce as her husband’s addiction spirals further out of control. What was supposed to be a wake-up call instead became deeper indulgence, leaving her feeling disrespected, confused, and searching for closure. We explore how addicts can reach a point where fantasy feels “authentic,” and how emotional immaturity, avoidance of discomfort, arrested development, and untreated mental health issues often drive such drastic decisions. While these factors may help explain the behavior, we make it clear: they do not excuse it.

We then confront the painful but empowering reality that he has the right—through his autonomy and agency—to make destructive choices. Acceptance of that truth does not mean approval or forgiveness; it means recognizing what cannot be controlled. Betrayed partners cannot force recovery, insight, or maturity. Fighting that reality only prolongs suffering. True empowerment begins when the focus shifts from changing him to strengthening oneself.

Finally, we address the complicated reality of co-parenting after betrayal. When children are involved, complete separation is rarely possible. We emphasize the importance of thoughtful boundaries, structured communication, and protecting children from emotional crossfire. Revenge-driven decisions often create long-term damage, whereas clarity-driven boundaries create stability. Though he may choose to “screw up his life,” the betrayed partner retains the power to heal, protect her peace, and build a stronger future for herself and her children.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: He has the Right to Completely Screw Up His Life!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services