Grayson walks through his path — a teenage sleepover fumble, an early fascination with nudity, and the college roommate he watched porn with, escalating from parallel jerking off to mutual to oral, all while both insisted they were straight in the early-'90s Bible Belt. From there: a complicated three-year relationship with a woman that enjoyed gay/bi porn, the Penthouse Forum letter that [SPOILER], early AOL and adult-theater hookups, and getting so tired of explaining how he was straight when he liked dicks that he finally landed on "yes, I am bi."

The back half is the coming-out arc: his wife coming out to him first, his own disclosure and her mixed initial reaction, years of chickening out, and the profile update about 18 months ago where he finally finished the job — plus the same-room agreements he and his wife built and where he's at now. Word of the Week is compersion; the mini-topic is threesomes and moresomes, fantasy vs. reality.

Disclaimer: The hosts aren't medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing here is medical, legal, or psychological advice — speak with a qualified provider about your own health and relationships.

• Compersion — joy caused by another person's happiness, especially seeing a partner enjoy another partner; often called the opposite of jealousy
• ENM / CNM — ethical / consensual non-monogamy; umbrella terms for openly agreed-on non-monogamous relationships
• Same-room / same-room-only — an agreement that any play with others happens with both partners present in the same room
• Vibe check — a low-pressure, in-person meet to gauge compatibility before anything physical
• MFM / MMF / MFF / MMM — threesome/moresome shorthand; the letters that touch indicate who plays with whom (MMF = the two men play; MFM = they don't)
• Hotdogging — simulating sex between the butt cheeks without penetration

• Multiamory — website, book, podcast, and Discord from Dedeker Winston, Emily Sotelo Matlack, and Jase Lindgren; book: Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships: https://www.multiamory.com
• Feeld — the ENM/kink/couples dating app Sam used for his MMF meet: https://feeld.co

Telling Your Partner — whether, when, and how to tell a partner you're bi, and the "I'm bi" vs. "I want to act on it" split. As Grayson's story shows, even with a partner who's also bi, it can still bring real anxiety.

Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write "OK for air" if we can read it on the show — and if you'd like to come on as a guest, same address). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and X, and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky.