When a woman becomes a mother, her brain physically reorganizes around the baby. We've known this for a while. What we didn't know (until recently) is that the same thing happens to dads.

Dr. Darby Saxbe is a neuroscientist and psychologist at USC, and one of the only researchers in the world scanning fathers' brains before and after they have kids. What she found: the same regions that change and streamline in new mothers change in new fathers. The more hands-on a dad is, the more pronounced those changes are.

Dr. Becky and Dr. Darby get into what "losing gray matter" actually means (it's not what it sounds like), how paternal postpartum depression shows up differently than maternal (and why it almost always goes unrecognized), and why the awkwardness of new fatherhood isn't a signal that you're wrong for the role.

Dr. Saxbe's new book is Dad Brain.

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“If I don’t push my kid, they’ll waste their potential.” A lot of us believe this. But is it true?

Myleik Teele joins Dr. Becky to work through a question that haunts every ambitious parent. What unfolds is an honest look at whose anxiety is actually running the show — and whether the drive we're trying to install in our kids is something we need to figure out for ourselves first.

They get into: what ability vs. effort actually predicts about your kid's future, the moment Myleik saw a straight-A report card and felt something twist inside her, and the specific pressure Black parents carry into every one of these conversations.

Dr. Becky wrote up some conversation starters that might help if you're worried your kid isn't reaching their full potential.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Ole Henriksen: Use the code DRBECKY30 for 30% off the Banana Bright+ Eye Crème
• LMNT: Get a free gift with your purchase at drinkLMNT.com/goodinside
• Girl Scouts: If you have a daughter in kindergarten through 12th grade, visit girlscouts.org to learn more.

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Dr. Cassidy Freitas grew up watching her mom — a Hispanic judge who fought her way into white male spaces with no margin for error — come home carrying that same no-error version of herself. Her dad pushed straight A's as the path to financial safety. She absorbed all of it.

And then she became a mom.

She had a plan. A written, formatted, shared-with-her-doctor birth plan. When it fell apart in the operating room — her daughter already here, her husband saying "look at her," and Cassidy turning her face away — the drive that had gotten her through everything else had nothing to offer her.

Dr. Cassidy is a therapist and the author of Mom Needs a Moment. In this conversation with Dr. Becky, she traces how perfectionism forms in childhood as a survival strategy, why it works right up until you have a baby, and what it actually looks like to loosen the grip without losing your edge.

There's a phrase she comes back to: context is the bridge to compassion. You can't have compassion for the way perfectionism shows up in you as a mom if you don't understand where it came from.

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Looking for more support navigating pregnancy, postpartum, and life with a new baby? Good Inside Baby gives you practical tools, scripts, and expert guidance for the moments that can feel most overwhelming in early parenthood.

Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Ole Henriksen: Use the code DRBECKY30 for 30% off the Banana Bright+ Eye Crème
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