This heartfelt episode features a candid conversation between Mike and Emma O’Connell, father-daughter members of O’Connell Family Funeral Homes, as they reflect on legacy, loss, and growing up in a family funeral home.

From prom pranks to life-shaping grief experiences, they share the emotional realities and quiet joys that come with serving others in their most tender moments.

Episode Highlights (Timestamps):

• 00:01:00 – The rich family history behind OCFH

• 00:03:00 – How funeral homes evolved from furniture makers

• 00:06:30 – The threat of corporate consolidation in funeral care

• 00:08:00 – Emma’s winding journey to joining the family business

• 00:10:55 – Memories of growing up around the funeral home

• 00:14:30 – Mike’s pride in watching Emma comfort grieving families

• 00:16:30 – Childhood stories (yes, a scooter crash is involved)

• 00:27:00 – Honoring a Pearl Harbor veteran

• 00:32:00 – How grief changed Mike after his brother’s death

• 00:35:00 – Emma’s personal take on compassion and legacy

• 00:41:30 – The values Emma hopes to pass on to the next generation

Takeaways:

• Funeral service is not just a profession, it’s a calling.

• Legacy is built one story, one act of service, and one person at a time.

• Grief, when met with community and compassion, can shape a life of meaning.

• The little moments, like scooter crashes or meatball dinners, often leave the deepest marks.

• Family-run funeral homes offer a level of personal care that corporate chains cannot replicate.

Memorable Quotes

Emma O’Connell:

• You never know what someone’s going through. That’s why compassion matters.

• Grief doesn’t scare me, it unites people.

• My job is to offer comfort in the storm.

• Church basement dinners? A core memory!

A single sentence can haunt a family for years. “Just cremate me and throw me out back.”

It’s said casually, often meant with humility, but can create lasting pain and confusion for those left behind.

In this heartfelt episode, funeral director Mike O’Connell opens up about why these words are his “kryptonite,” the emotional cost of skipping a ceremony, and how reframing our final wishes can become a lasting gift to our loved ones.

Episode Breakdown: What You’ll Hear

[00:00] The phrase that breaks Mike’s heart: “Just cremate me and throw me out back.”

[01:00] Why this statement—though humble—can create guilt, regret, and long-term pain for families.

[02:30] The emotional burden of “no service” requests and what it denies the living. [04:00] How the absence of a funeral can delay grief or deepen suffering.

[06:00] Cultural avoidance of death and how COVID intensified the trend of delaying or skipping ceremonies.

[08:00] The invisible toll of unresolved grief: isolation, anxiety, anger, and even substance abuse.

[10:00] When shame, regret, or feeling “unworthy” make us avoid being honored.

[12:00] How to reframe funerals as a gift—not a burden.

[14:00] Simple services can still be deeply meaningful—and allow loved ones to begin healing.

[16:00] The final act of love: granting your family permission to remember you in the way they need.

[18:00] “People don’t go because someone died. They go because someone lived.”

Quotes

“The funeral isn’t the burden - the death is.” —Mike O’Connell
“Give your family the gift of time to gather, to cry, to laugh, and to begin healing.”
“You don’t grieve a body. You grieve a life - shared moments, laughter, even the hard times.”

Resources

• Mike O’Connell’s Bio Page

What You'll Hear in This Episode

In this episode of The Good Grief Podcast, Christa Walz from Adoray joins us to talk about the power of home health care in helping families age with support, safety, and dignity.

Here's a quick look at what we covered:

[00:00] Christa reflects on 20 years with Adoray and how she got started in home health care.

[02:00] What home health care includes—and how it’s different from hospice.

[04:00] Who qualifies for services and how families can initiate care.

[06:00] Collaborating with physicians, families, and navigating referrals.

[08:00] The emotional dynamics of in-home care—and why it takes trust.

[10:00] What makes Adoray different: nonprofit, extra services, and patient-first care.

[14:00] Fall prevention, medication safety, and preparing the home.

[17:00] How Medicare and Advantage plans affect care and costs.

[20:00] Why Adoray launched thrift stores to sustain services. [22:00] Transitioning to hospice and launching a palliative care program.

[25:00] AI tools supporting documentation, not replacing human care.

[27:00] Why planning ahead helps families avoid crisis decisions.

Christa Walz

• "A lot of times people don't hear of us until they need us."

• "The more you learn about it, the less scary it can be."

• "Better to know us and not need us, than need us and not know us."

• "Adoray is the only nonprofit hospice agency in western Wisconsin."

• "We meet patients where they are—in their homes, on their terms."

Mike O’Connell

• "You have the patient, and then you have the family whispering from the hallway."

• "Every year, your job gets tougher and tougher."

• "Memorials and legacy gifts really do help.”

Links & Resources

• Adoray Home Health & Hospice

• Treasures From the Heart Thrift Stores

• About Mike O’Connell

• Christa Walz on LinkedIn