Get to Know A Little About Me (Part 2)

カートのアイテムが多すぎます

ご購入は五十タイトルがカートに入っている場合のみです。

カートに追加できませんでした。

しばらく経ってから再度お試しください。

ウィッシュリストに追加できませんでした。

しばらく経ってから再度お試しください。

ほしい物リストの削除に失敗しました。

しばらく経ってから再度お試しください。

ポッドキャストのフォローに失敗しました

ポッドキャストのフォロー解除に失敗しました

Get to Know A Little About Me (Part 2)

無料で聴く

ポッドキャストの詳細を見る

Well, here we are in Part 2.I tend to jump straight into my conversations, so this will be no different. Let me just hit the big points quickly. I dated a person for three years who although he was a good guy was a bad match for me. I had to fight for my self-worth and in the process dropped all my friends to try and make this one guy happy. I compared myself frequently to the best performing person in the room and in doing so destroyed my confidence in my capabilities. My mom told me frequently how she had to work hard to like me as a person.I was frequently told how my mom wished she had a child with a specific mental health diagnosis. My dad lost control of his anger, and about offed my mom.I was told I was the reason my parents stayed together.I watched my dad’s self-esteem plummet. I was constantly screamed at for any moment that my mom disagreed with me.My dad’s family all but disappeared leaving my dad as sole caretaker of my grandpa after he had an accident that changed his physical health and personality.My parents were both given different mental health diagnoses including schizoaffective disorder, autism, anxiety, ADHD, depression, CPSTD, and PTSD.I was left alone going to college after an hour or 2 in a new city because my dad was struggling with his mental health. I lost faith in church communities because of the way they treated my husband and others around me. Now there is a lot more to unpack at future times in these situations. Still, for now these are the big points that you need to know for me to say that I recovered significantly from a household that was emotionally reactive, sometimes physically unsafe, and most of the time not available in the ways I needed them to be.My high school and early adult years were also filled with many great moments. It is where I found my passion for music and the arts. I got married and had kids. While growing up, I had other adults in my life fill in the roles that I needed my parents to fill. The way I was raised told me that I was not enough as I was to be loved well. And quite frankly it is quite frightening to me as a parent now that knew love as being toxic and that sharing love with others even when handled well could still be perceived as dangerous. I had a thought a while ago that was essentially, I was told I was loved and was not shown it in many safe and caring ways, in turn if that is love, I do not want anything to do with it.Except I am a romantic at heart, I do believe in love and I believe love shown well is everything worth fighting for. It is peace. It is stability. It is treating every person like they are the best version of themselves even on their worst days. It is treating your kids like they have autonomy over themselves as adults and giving them the same respect in age-appropriate ways.I learned growing up that the only way I could be safe and keep my needs met was by staying quiet or people-pleasing. I never knew what it was like to live in a safe home. Due to this, my own mental health needs were left unchecked. I found out in the past year that I have ADHD, Autism, OCD, and likely CPTSD. I also had Major Depression and Anxiety. I am recovering my people-pleasing tendencies, and finding self-love in the process of learning that I have always deserved to be taken care of even if I was not. I was watching one of the many variations of Cinderella out there, and my daughter told me that she is glad I am not like the Stepmother, and at that point, I was reminded of why it is important to heal from trauma. If we do not heal our past, we leave it for another generation to deal with later. And although the hurt we carry should have never been given to us, it is our responsibility to heal the hurt and lay it to rest. By doing so, we stop the generational curses carried down by previous family members that did not heal their hurt.There is a saying out there that hurt people hurt people and it is so true. When we carry around our burdens leaving them unchecked and refusing to learn to love who we are, we spread the hurt to others even when we do not try to because we carry them on us for others to feel. We have to do better at being intentional in loving ourselves than the previous generation. Our families deserve better, and we deserve better as well. It is time to let go of the pride that comes with the trauma of having to fend for ourselves and own the fact that we need help. We have to learn how to love ourselves. There is no other choice. If we want to see peace and love carried out in this world. It starts with us.It starts with the purposeful choice of choosing to love who you are, as you are. Flaws and all. There and only there will we see the change we hope to see in the world.Jessica’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus ...

まだレビューはありません