From neighbors shoveling driveways to the quiet labor of holding community spaces, this episode explores how care becomes invisible, and how naming it can be radical. Becky shares a story about hosting invitation-only “secret salons” and grappling with the discomfort of being compensated for community-building work. Taina reflects on moments when emotional labor was unexpectedly acknowledged—and how powerful that recognition can be.

The conversation expands into privilege, power, and relationships: what it means when someone checks their privilege out loud, how that can change the nervous system in a room, and why pretending we’re “past” bias is far more dangerous than admitting it exists. They also talk about gendered entitlement, “support husbands,” emotional safety, and the exhausting reality of always wondering when contempt might surface.

• What mutual aid looks like in everyday life (and why it’s not charity)
• Snowstorms, disability, aging, and who gets left behind
• The invisible labor of care, organizing, and community-building
• Why being seen matters as much as being paid
• Emotional labor, race, gender, and power dynamics
• Checking privilege—and why it changes the room
• Supportive partnerships vs. entitled masculinity
• Why “I’d never do that” is a red flag
• Capitalism, commodification, and collective responsibility
• How acknowledgment can be an act of liberation

Resource:

• "Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next)" by Dean Spade

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