In Episode 10 of Penned in Ink, we talk about something every marriage and relationship faces: conflict. Over our 30+ years together, we’ve learned that conflict isn’t the problem. The real issue is how we resolve it, how we heal from it, and how quickly we repair.

In this episode, we share the recurring conflict areas we’ve revisited for decades, including money management, parenting style differences, and the tension that can come from extended family expectations. We also walk through conflict resolution tools that have actually worked for us over time, including active listening, reflective listening, setting ground rules for how we argue, and using time-outs the right way so a pause doesn’t become avoidance.

We also share a real “Inked Moment” from a travel day that went sideways, where sarcasm, stress, and a few poorly timed comments turned into hurt feelings, and how we repaired it later in a healthy way. Then we put a lens on “his perspective, her perspective” and the difference between problem-solving and emotional validation, including the simple question that can save a lot of fights: “Do you want feedback, or do you just want me to listen?”

If you’re dealing with recurring arguments, struggling to communicate, or trying to build a healthier way to repair after hurt, this episode is for you.

And to help you apply these tools immediately, we created a guide that walks you through what we use, plus other options that can help you fight fair and build trust through conflict.

Get your FREE guide titled “Fighting Fair: 5 Tools to Resolve Conflict and Repair Quickly”.

Subscribe for more conversations about marriage, commitment, and building long-lasting love.

Chapters

00:00 – Welcome and introduction

03:06 – Recurring areas of conflict

13:24 – Tools for conflict resolution

23:03 – Inked Moments: A travel day went sideways

30:21 – Perspectives: Problem solving v. Emotional validation

36:03 – Strength from conflict

39:37 – Pen to Paper: Use “I statements.”

43:26 – Closing thoughts

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