Today we look at the *English* hero Harry Kane, and thesecret to how he has become England’s top goalscorer. Jack and I discuss stoicism, the Greek and Roman philosophy all about how to achieve the best life and age like the fine wine Ronaldo certainly doesn’t drink.

Stoicism accounts for all of the great footballers’ nous:knowing when to track that runner, knowing when to switch the play, and, if you’re Ryan Giggs, knowing when your brother’s not in the house.

Stoicism tells us that the most active of us are those of uswho exercise our brains. They do say the first 3 yards are in your head, after all!

Here at FFP, we've designed this podcast to be educational — though, much like Financial Fair Play, whether it actually works is another matter entirely.

In today's (late) episode, Jack and I discuss hypercollectivity and how it is an indescribable 'thing'. It's like seeing your crush dance with the boy who can actually play football, it's the taste of your first after-work pint, and the delirium of winning the Lincoln Sunday League Division 2 title. Experiencing football is experiencing these things we call 'qualia': its the 'supra-feeling' you get from doing something - why is that first sip of a pint the best? Why did you just *have* to be there for that funny event? This is qualia - the atmosphere, the feeling, the joy, the agony and the hypercollectivity that encompasses the beautiful game.

For good or for bad, some footballing experiences will last a lifetime. They're timeless, they're with us forever. Jack tells us this is kairotic; the Greeks called what we call 'deep-time' Kairos, the opportune time to do something, the feeling of living in the event, that timeless feeling where it seems like time stands still.

So what happens when you put the first sip of beer and the feeling of timelessness together? You get football, it's a simple equation. Listen to us show our working.

Here at FFP, we've designed this podcast to be educational — though, much like Financial Fair Play, whether it actually works is another matter entirely.

In this episode, Jack and I offer you either the red or the blue pill. Take the blue pill, and you carry on festering in your mum's basement playing your FIFA. Take the red though, and you'll experience football as it's supposed to be experienced.

This first-part episode describes the philosophy of Jean Baudrillard, who claims that reality has become far too complex, and as such, we've created a hyperreality: a distorted simulation of the 'real' thing. He claims this hyperreality becomes more important, more real, to us, than the real.

Can maps feature themselves? Can FIFA stop being corrupt? Can you really experience football sitting on your settee, feet up, dressing gown on?

Here at FFP, we've designed this podcast to be educational — though, much like Financial Fair Play, whether it actually works is another matter entirely.

In this episode, Jack and I discuss the myth of King Midas and his hubris. Midas was a good guy, treated people well and worked hard. But then he made terrible decision, and chased a life of material gain. Sound familiar?

Lamine Yamal, currently not participating in Spain's qualifying campaign due to an inflamed pubic area (totally unrelated to the following) has been courting the kinds of attention teenage boys usually only (wet) dream of. From DMing pornstars, to being the protagonist in multiple El Clásicos, the teenage sensation has the world at his feet. But philosophy might have some words of caution for the young starlet... In this episode we bring Bacchanalian back, just, not in the way Lamine might have thought.

Here at FFP, we've designed this podcast to be educational — though, much like Financial Fair Play, whether it actually works is another matter entirely.

Zlatan, on arriving at PSG once said, 'It's true I don't know much about the players here, but they definitely know who I am.' He's right isn't he? And that's the point: we here at FFP believe Zlatan is a character being played, kind of like Lorraine Kelly but maybe not for tax reasons (please, please google it).

We all have a bit of Ibra about us, don't we? Well, maybe not David Attenborough.

In today's episode we show how Sartre's idea of 'bad faith' is a conscious or subconscious way of being ourselves. It's a way we protect ourselves from our own ambitions, the dangers of life, and from asking out that 10/10 on the train.

Football allows us the opportunity to be something more than ourselves, for better or worse. We talk about how 'bad faith' can be used for both: through egomaniacs like Zlatan and why the women's game might actually be the game - like the one we're just starting to experience now.

Here at FFP, we've designed this podcast to be educational — though, much like Financial Fair Play, whether it actually works is another matter entirely.

In today's episode, Jack and I discuss the notion of 'corporeity' and apply it to our understanding of what it means to be a fan of a football club, and one in particular: Manchester United.

In lieu of that fan still not being able to cut his bloody hair, we conclude that it's not necessarily the players' fault, but the hierarchy above them. Everyone knows you can't sack the dinner ladies and expect to win the Europa Conference League in the same season, don't they? Well, they do now.

From the origins of scapegoats to Petr Cech catching babies, stick with us while we try and combine 'philosophy' to football.

Here at FFP, we've designed this podcast to be educational — though, much like Financial Fair Play, whether it actually works is another matter entirely.

In this episode, we here at FFP clearly prove beyond all rational doubt that Maradona was an evil genius with the ball at his feet. Before that goal in '86, did he make a pact with the devil? Almost definitely not, but it's fun to think about.

Western history abounds with tales of the sinister machinations of those who are left-handed, or use their left hands for evil. We apply history's hard-earned wisdom to some of football's most recent dastardly deeds. Maybe, just maybe, all of the characters we discuss aren't actually evil. Except Luis Suarez, everyone knows Suarez is.

Just like Financial Fair Play, we here at FFP have designed this podcast to be educational. Whether it works is a different matter entirely.

In today's episode we explore Albert Camus' absurd philosophy and ask the question: why are you a Fulham fan? Or any fan for that matter? Football means something to all of us, and Camus believes, it's the love of the struggle every fan faces.