This week on FREAKQUELS, EJ is having an emotional breakdown! Rather than seek help, EJ has decided to dress up as a murderous Santa Clause and make his pain YOUR problem! Rather than be a good friend and help EJ through this dark time, Rory just couldn’t be bothered. Instead, he and Marnie Azzarelli review the yuletide version of Taxi Driver, “CHRISTMAS EVIL!”

This week on FREAKQUELS, Elle Snow and Strega Carmo join EJ and Rory to take on a film that bites harder than the vampires within, “SILENT BITE!”

It’s SNOWING out here in FREAKQUELVILLE, so EJ and Rory have invited David Gonzalez and Greg Caldwell to help build an evil snowman! Why an evil snowman? Because shut up, that’s why! Anywho, after the completion of their abomination, the gang pops on the straight to video wonder “JACK FROST” to give their murderous snowman some pointers. If there’s anything more merry than a bloodthirsty snowman than I don’t want to know about it!

Seasons Greetings, FREAKQUENCY! To be festive and junk, film critic David Gonzalez has placed a murderous android underneath the Freakquels Christmas tree! Not to be malicious mind you, they actually wanted one for some reason. It’s a weird podcast, what can I say? Anyway, Dave and the murderous android join EJ and Rory beside a roaring fireplace to review the Christmas classic for weirdos, “SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 5: THE TOY MAKER!”

Happy Thanksgiving Freakquency! Freddy Krueger has agreed to cut the turkey with his filthy murder glove while the gang, joined by real life leprechaun enthusiast Aliah Roseman Hughes, reviews the former black sheep of the Elm Street saga, “A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE!”

This week, Metal Messiah Jon Snow has a job lined up for the gang so they can all get rich beyond their wildest dreams. The job? Robbing a home occupied by the ghoulish elite. After botching the job almost immediately, the gang is held captive in a holding cell with a group of cannibals who aid them in reviewing the underrated Wes Craven joint, “THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS!” The cannibals may seem scary, but boy are they insightful little buggers!

After reviewing “THE STRANGERS”, EJ, Rory, and Mike Vinci try their hand at murder! After getting their butts handed to them during their first home invasion, the gang decides to stick to reviewing movies! The lesson? Pick a lane and stay in it, kids!

This week, some scumbag uttered the name FREAKQUELS 3 times and now the unclean podcast has possessed all your favorite streaming services! Rookie mistake, some scumbag. Lucky for YOU America, Leo and Shane Purdy are ready to get their podorcism on…and review “BEETLEJUICE” in the process. Because they like Beetlejuice. Who doesn’t like Beetlejuice? Seriously, I’m asking!!! Oh, wait…I said Beetlejuice three times. Now America has another problem! Hell of a week…