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In this episode, I talk openly about the deep connection between grief and addiction, drawing from my own life experiences with loss and substance use. I share how my relationship with alcohol began after my great grandmother passed away in 2011, and how drinking became my way of avoiding the pain and regret of not being there when she died. I also reflect on the recent loss of my grandfather, the difficult decision not to visit him due to illness and logistics, and how—thankfully—I did not turn to alcohol this time. I discuss losing my dogs, the emotional weight of those losses, and how grief shows up in many forms, not just death. This episode is a raw look at how grief shaped my past drinking and how I’m trying to respond differently today.

I also break down key insights from two major resources—the Hazelden Betty Ford Institute and The Addiction Center—about how grief can lead to addiction through avoidance, substance-based coping, replacing relationships with alcohol, and lacking healthy coping skills. I connect these concepts directly to my own struggles with alcohol, nicotine, impulsive behaviors, and emotional suppression learned from family and military culture. I explain how therapy, fitness, and creative outlets like podcasting have helped me build healthier coping skills, and why this podcast exists in the first place—to remind people that they are not alone and that change is possible. My goal isn’t fame or money, but to help even one person choose healing over self-destruction and to show that we are never obligated to stay the same person we were yesterday.

00:00 — Intro, Addiction, Grief & Great Grandma’s Passing

00:28 — Drinking Through Loss & Deep Regret

01:56 — Grandpa’s Passing, Choosing Not to Drink

03:36 — Family Drinking History & Health Decline

04:57 — Stages of Grief & Loss of Dogs

05:52 — Hazelden Betty Ford: Complicated Grief Defined

07:02 — Why I Started the Podcast & Healthier Outlets

08:09 — Nicotine Sobriety & Addictive Tendencies

12:03 — Four Ways Grief Leads to Addiction

16:27 — Learning Coping Skills, Recovery Goals & Closing Message

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