『Episode 5: The quest for Squatty』のカバーアート

Episode 5: The quest for Squatty

Episode 5: The quest for Squatty

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 Keep up with us on YouTube and Patreon.Episode transcript:After Linda’s outburst, Button did stop coming. He didn’t say much on his way out that last time, but he did tap the Viva Coco sticker that Linda still hadn’t gotten around to removing, and whined “Why do you have this?”Linda asked Brian about it later. He didn’t know. He thought it maybe had something to do with an old American talk show host. He showed her some clips of a red-headed man yelling at another man dressed in a candy cane outfit. That didn’t seem like it.So Linda turned to her only other friend who had any opinions on technology: Miriam.She laughed when Linda described her as an anti-tech warrior. “I’m just trying to make sure my kids grow up able to formulate emotional responses to other humans without hiding behind an AI-animated piece of glass.”She did know someone “techie,” as she described him. A guy called Pot Pop or something?“Like a grandpa?” Linda asked. “No, he’s a young guy,” said Miriam. “Seems like he’s got his finger on the pulse. He might know someone who might know something.”Miriam said he and his friends would periodically come in to try to convince the Instagirlies that true validation came from within. Pot Pop was pretty attractive, so the young women would at least sit and talk with him for a while. The conversations Miriam overheard got philosophical about the meaning of life and technology, and the women would buy him coffees on their watches.He didn’t object to that use of technology.It was a long shot, but a guy people had seen was at least more than a random sticker left a week ago by a skateboard kid. “Pot Pop … I bet that’s Squatty Potty,” said Brian. “That guy is awesome. He plays Frisbee golf with us on Thursdays. Does this under-the-leg throw that just sails down the field.”What a stupid rabbit hole Linda was going down, but it was something to do.Linda went with Brian to their next practice or match or whatever unit of play this sport was divided into. She was greeted by a group of high-fashion athleisure-wearing coeds. But no Squatty.When Linda asked after him, the player she asked got a little cagey. “Who wants to know?”“Um … me,” said Linda. “That’s Brian’s GF,” said another, vouching for her. “She’s cool.”“Sorry about that,” said Cagey. “Squats has history with the Culture Department, so better safe than sorry.”Cagey went on to explain that Squatty was hosting an underground screening of “Midnight Cowboy” at Fireside Second-hand Books.“He smuggled all of the films of Dustin Hoffman into the city on 16 Millimeter,” said Cagey admiringly.Linda mentioned that she thought most movies were available online these days, and not hard to come by.Cagey scoffed, “You need some Squatty in your life. He really opened my eyes.”Brian and Linda got to the bookstore just as the film was letting out. They were able to ascertain from a group of smokers huddled by the entrance that Squatty had been there, but took off early, “to keep ‘em on their toes.”“Are you sure you really want to meet him?” asked one of the smokers. “Once you know him, you can’t unknow him and the chaos that may bring to your life.”Linda, starting to get bored of the cloak and dagger shit for a guy who only may know what she was after, asked if he had a phone number.The smokers gave each other knowing glances. “Not as far as you know.”Brian bounded over with some more concrete information: Dave, a guy who had been at the screening was headed over to where Squatty was now. They could ride with him, if they could handle it.In the rideshare car, Dave tried to place his body between Linda, Brian and the driver’s GPS, until the driver threatened to kick him out. They were dropped off in a residential area, and Dave led them down a dark alleyway.“I don’t suppose you’ll close your eyes,” he said.“Is this a drug thing?” asked Linda.He led them up to a second-floor apartment which opened into a polite dance party. Crates of albums lined every available surface, and the DJ was spinning the most obscure tracks of ’70s soul.“Is that him?” Linda asked Dave.But Dave had somehow already disappeared into the small crowd.“Yeah! That’s Georgie Wang,” answered a dancing party goer. “Isn’t he the coolest?”“No. I’m looking for … Squatty Potty,” said Linda.If this were a movie, the record would have scratched, and a silent room all looked at Linda suspiciously. As it was, no one noticed, but the dancer recoiled.“I can’t help you with that.” They quickly bolted away.Linda looked to Brian, who was flipping through a nearby crate. “I’ve never heard of any of these bands! I gotta get a record player.”Linda wondered how he was continuing to have such a great night, and she was being treated like an asshole at every turn. Like, was she even in his same reality? But she continued working the crowd, ...
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