Episode 46: Reflecting Feelings (Back to Basics) + Listener Q&A on Post-COVID Babies

In this episode, Kylie returns to her Back to Basics series to unpack one of the most fundamental and often most challenging skills in child-centred play therapy: reflecting feelings. Coming live from the playroom (beanbag and all), she takes listeners through why this skill can feel so vulnerable for beginning play therapists, even though it's one of the most powerful tools we have for building connection and trust with the children we work with.

Kylie breaks down the clinical rationale behind reflecting feelings, explaining how it helps children bridge the gap between what they're feeling internally and the words to express it, something that's neurobiologically difficult for kids and often overlooked by the adults around them. She talks through why feeling seen is one of the most therapeutic experiences a person can have, and how reflecting feelings communicates empathy in a deeply Rogerian, person-centred way.

She also walks through the common mistakes practitioners make when reflecting feelings, including turning reflections into questions through tone and inflection, over-reflecting to the point of disconnection, inserting the therapist's own feelings rather than the child's, and reflecting with too much or too little intensity compared to what the child is actually showing. Kylie shares practical guidance on matching pacing, tone, and energy to the child in the room, and how this shifts as the therapeutic relationship develops over time, from co-regulation in early sessions through to the more natural, attuned reflections that come with experience.

In the second half of the episode, Kylie answers a thoughtful listener question from Catherine, an early childhood educator, who asks whether children born after COVID are still showing developmental effects of the pandemic, even though they weren't alive during lockdowns themselves. Kylie unpacks the research and clinical observations behind this, covering family stress transmission, parental depletion and reduced co-regulation capacity, perinatal anxiety and depression, the impact of a "reduced village" in many communities, and the role of sibling modeling within the family system. She makes the case for why supporting the whole family, not just the individual child, is essential when working with this generation.

In this episode:

• Why reflecting feelings is one of the hardest skills for beginning play therapists to master
• The clinical and neurobiological reasons reflecting feelings matters
• Common mistakes: questioning tone, over-reflecting, inserting your own feelings, and mismatched intensity
• How reflecting feelings evolves as the therapeutic relationship deepens
• Listener Q&A: are post-COVID babies still affected by pandemic-era family stress, even without lockdown exposure?
• The role of family stress transmission, maternal mental health, and community support in early childhood development

Got a question or topic you'd love Kylie to explore on the podcast? She'd love to hear from you. This space is for thoughtful, soulful conversations about play-based work, and it's built around the community that listens. Reach out, follow along, and remember, you belong here.