Content Note: This episode mentions self-harm and suicidal ideation.

In this week's episode, I am falling in love and terrified of saying it out loud. I'm so terrified, I start inflicting physical and spiritual harm to myself and others. There's some tough stuff in this one but it was kindof cool to read back on how in love I truly was.

There are so many elements of this journal that remind me of previous journals - it's a new year and a new guy, but I am still a classic avoidant!

There is a certain violence in this episode that surprised me. Not only amoungst my friend group, but also within myself. I turn 18, tell my boyfriend I love him, and start planning for prom & graduation.

I apparantly feel like I can really relate to Jewel and The O.C. lolololol This episode is packed with details of an 18-year-old who is trying her absolute best and the boy(s) who loves her.

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