What happens when an academic who built his entire identity around achievement suffers a major heart attack, only to be found sitting in his hospital bed still frantically emailing his co-workers?

In this twenty-fifth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Dave Kraybill for a profound conversation about his 2024 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon, Arizona. Dave, a retired agricultural economist who spent 11 years working in Africa, shares how a therapist’s simple recommendation led him to discover Illuman after years of treating his body like a machine and overworking to earn esteem.

Dave reflects on his journey from a Mennonite farming community—where rhythm and drumming were viewed as "potentially evil"—to crossing the creek at Aravaipa and entering a completely different, deeply somatic world. He speaks movingly about overcoming performance anxiety during a grief ritual, finding a powerful metaphor in a resilient desert plant, and applying Richard Rohr's wisdom that "pain that is not transformed is transmitted". Whether you are struggling to stay present in your relationships or wondering if you should attend the Men's Rites or the Elder Rites, Dave’s wisdom provides a brilliant roadmap for the second half of life.

Episode Highlights

• Not Performance, But Prayer: How a single piece of instruction from a ritual leader shattered Dave's lifelong performance anxiety.
• The Plant in the Rock: Discovering a beautiful metaphor for flourishing in impossible circumstances during his desert solitude.
• The Hospital Wake-Up Call: Realizing his foundation was flawed when he immediately resumed working after a major cardiac event.
• The "Glow": Returning to his men's group after the rites radiating an unexplainable, transformative energy.
• Men's Rites vs. Elder Rites: Dave's practical counsel on how to discern which initiation experience is right for you based on your unresolved wounds.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Brian Mueller (Host)
• Aravaipa Canyon Ranch and Retreat Center

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Dave Kraybill for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams