What happens when a retired engineer sitting in the Arizona desert suddenly starts singing Doris Day, only to realize he's being called to help heal the brokenness of other men?

In this twenty-fourth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Al Selder for an inspiring conversation about his 2005 initiation at a YMCA camp in Oracle, Arizona. Al shares how trusting the invitation of other men led him to one of the very first rites held outside of Ghost Ranch, where Weaver Richard Rohr guided him into a profound period of self-reflection.

Al recounts a mystical vision of quaking leaves and running water he experienced in the desert—a vision that ultimately led the Arizona chapter to discover the sacred, liminal grounds of Aravaipa Canyon. He speaks about his transition from simply attending the rites to taking on the monumental task of running the kitchen for over 90 men, eventually becoming the chapter's convener. From the poignant "starfish story" of helping just one person, to the beautiful realization that his own adult son is now seeking out council circles, Al's story is a testament to the quiet, generational power of service.

Episode Highlights

• "Que Sera, Sera": Why a Doris Day song and the memory of his late father-in-law sparked a lifelong commitment to men's work.
• The Vision of Aravaipa: A mysterious desert vision of running water that led to finding a sacred retreat space with a deep, complex history.
• The Starfish Story: Remembering that you don't have to change the whole world—you just have to make a difference for the man standing in front of you.
• Feeding the Brotherhood: The logistical feat of managing a kitchen and camp for 92 men in the middle of a remote canyon.
• Generational Ripples: The joy of witnessing his son decide to start his own council circle after years of observing the work.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Brian Mueller (Host)
• Doris Day - Que Sera Sera
• Aravaipa Canyon Ranch and Retreat Center

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Al Selder for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams