『Episode #191 From Farm Girl to “Dating with Dern”: Doireann O’Connor on Letting Go, Sobriety & Starting Again』のカバーアート

Episode #191 From Farm Girl to “Dating with Dern”: Doireann O’Connor on Letting Go, Sobriety & Starting Again

Episode #191 From Farm Girl to “Dating with Dern”: Doireann O’Connor on Letting Go, Sobriety & Starting Again

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 In this episode of the Modern Warrior Podcast, host Gavin Meenan sits down with Doireann (“Dern”) O’Connor, a self-described “party child” from a Laois farm, to trace her journey from the youngest of five on a busy family farm to a creative life built around music, performance, and following what actually feels true for her. They talk about growing up surrounded by older siblings with “massive personalities,” discovering a love for singing, dancing and musicals, and the tension between choosing a “pensionable job” in primary teaching and pursuing a more uncertain artistic path.Doireann shares how moving into a cottage alone during COVID, joining a wedding band, and later travelling solo through Mexico and Colombia helped her “come back” to herself. She talks candidly about giving up alcohol, learning to be fully herself in social situations without it, navigating other people’s judgments, and finding a new level, “neutral” sense of contentment. The conversation also explores dealing with gossip, being consistent without attaching to outcomes, the discomfort of the unknown, and her plans for a new podcast, Dating with Dern, where real single people share their stories about love.ShownotesGrowing up on a farm in Laois as the youngest of five, “the mistake of the family” with an eight-year gap to the next siblingBeing “spoiled” by older brothers and sisters and feeling like the “party child” and “little show pony”A creative, slightly “cracked” family: musical, theatrical parents and siblings who are expressive, into music and dance, and running their own businessesBalancing encouragement to “do you” with nudges toward a “pensionable job” and “cold hard cash”Studying music and dance in college, then primary teaching as a backup routeRealizing the impact of gossip and other people’s perceptions after leaving college, and how that led her to “dampen down” and “do the norm”Breaking out of people-pleasing, deciding “nothing matters, nobody cares” and making decisions not based on others’ opinionsThe importance of being uncomfortable, stepping into the unknown, and “consistency without expectation”Leaving teaching during COVID, moving alone into a cottage, being afraid of the dark, and learning to live on her ownAuditioning for “everything,” joining a wedding and events band, moving to Dublin when others were moving out, and gigging “nonstop” for yearsFeeling she was “ready to move on” from the band, still having the “itch to travel,” and heading solo to Mexico and ColombiaGiving up alcohol in October, getting “sick of feeling sad” after nights out, and deciding “I can actually not feel like this again”Experiencing social occasions, travel, and meeting people completely sober—and realizing she can “do anything now” without alcoholDescribing life without alcohol as having fewer extreme highs/lows and feeling more “neutral,” where “when there’s a high, you know it’s real”Not wanting to be judged differently for not drinking, and preferring people not even realize she’s sober on a night outTalking about external validation, attention, and how alcohol can be used to access parts of yourself you’re afraid to ownHer “eat, pray, love journey” feeling in Mexico and Colombia: rediscovering that she loves talking to people, remembering “who you are,” and seeing people with “nothing” who are deeply contentWanting contentment more than constant happiness and not attaching to either happiness or sadness when they ariseHer fears about plant medicines and drugs that “alter your brain chemistry,” and being afraid they might trigger something in herUsing time away, sobriety, and travel as a complete “breakdown and buildup” processCurrent projects and what’s next: social media content and launching Dating with Dern, a podcast for single people sharing real stories about love and datingWhere to find her online: Instagram @OConnorDerren and TikTok @DerrenOCMemorable Quotes“I think you can take the girl out of Leish, but you can’t take Leish out of the girl.” Doireann“I was the mistake of the family… eight years later, I’m like, ‘Let’s party.’” Doireann“Once a bugger, always a bugger, basically.” Doireann“Everything kind of teaches you something. I just don’t believe in leaving anything behind.” Doireann“Consistency without expectation… as long as you’re consistent doing something that you enjoy doing and not expecting really anything to happen… things will just naturally happen.” Doireann“The unknown, I feel, is where things happen… you need to feel that uncomfortable feeling in order to kind of move forward.” Doireann“Nothing matters. Nobody cares. Just do whatever it is you want to do, as long as you’re not hurting anybody else.” Doireann“I was too afraid to try because I was too afraid to fail.” Doireann“Without ...
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