Episode 16 - Jealousy Between Foster Children
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In this episode, I talk about jealousy between foster siblings and how it shows up in real foster and blended family homes. I explain why jealousy is so common—especially when kids come from different backgrounds, trauma histories, and attachment experiences—and how it can surface as withdrawal, frustration, acting out, or even requests to leave the home. I also share how shifts in household dynamics can intensify feelings of insecurity or replacement for other children already in care.
I then walk through practical strategies for reducing sibling jealousy, including staying calm, recognizing that every child’s needs are different, spending one-on-one time with each child, planning flexible routines, listening honestly to complaints, making special efforts to honor each child’s culture and interests, asking for help, not forcing emotional disclosure, using games and shared activities to build connection, rewarding positive adjustments, and intentionally bonding as a family. I share real examples of what worked, what didn’t, and moments I wish I could redo, while emphasizing that foster parents can do everything “right” and still face outcomes beyond their control. Ultimately, this episode is about showing kids they aren’t being replaced, building trust over time, and giving yourself grace as a foster parent—because jealousy doesn’t mean failure, it means kids are trying to feel safe in a world that has rarely felt stable for them.
In this episode, I talk about jealousy between foster siblings and how it shows up in real foster and blended family homes. I explain why jealousy is so common—especially when kids come from different backgrounds, trauma histories, and attachment experiences—and how it can surface as withdrawal, frustration, acting out, or even requests to leave the home. I reference two articles I used as guides, primarily one from Wockhardt Hospital and another from Agape Adoption Agency, and I reflect on how their advice connects to situations we’ve experienced firsthand. I also share personal updates about welcoming two high-energy girls into our home, the emotional impact of losing a toddler placement, and how shifts in household dynamics can intensify feelings of insecurity or replacement for other children already in care.
I share real examples of what worked, what didn’t, and moments I wish I could redo, while emphasizing that foster parents can do everything “right” and still face outcomes beyond their control. Ultimately, this episode is about showing kids they aren’t being replaced, building trust over time, and giving yourself grace as a foster parent—because jealousy doesn’t mean failure, it means kids are trying to feel safe in a world that has rarely felt stable for them.
00:00 — Intro, Podcast Direction & Topic Overview
00:21 — Jealousy Between Foster Siblings Explained
01:16 — Sources Used & Why Jealousy Happens
02:48 — New Placements, Household Changes & Emotional Impact
04:25 — Too Many Placements Too Fast & Real-World Examples
06:43 — Staying Calm & Emotional Regulation as a Parent
09:28 — Individual Time, Planning & Listening to Each Child
12:27 — Making Special Efforts & Cultural Sensitivity
15:23 — Support Systems, Family Help & Emotional Safety
18:01 — Games, Rewards, Bonding & Final Takeaways
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