Episode 14: Our opinions on: Living on 3%, American Horror Story & Nails
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We are The Almost Experts — and this episode is… exactly what you’d expect from us: unhinged, oddly heartfelt, and somehow productive.
We start with technical difficulties (because of course), then immediately pivot into: dead mom jacket lore (with a tissue in the pocket that will never be removed), being sick AGAIN, and our very serious TV take of the week: we do not want to watch ugly people have sex. Respectfully.
From there we get into:
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Who the hottest actors are (14-year-old us vs current us)
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American Horror Story trauma (pointy… chrome… thing included)
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Germany travel countdown + nail salon chaos
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The internet’s obsession with the Jon Hamm trend
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Bonnie Blue getting arrested (and our complicated feminist thoughts)
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Taylor Swift surprise-dropping Rep TV like the billionaire menace she is
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Zach Brown Band at the Sphere doing… demonic underworld visuals?? (Chicken Fried?? hello??)
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Anxiety mornings, flight turbulence, and saving Xanax for the flights that get weird
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Why cats are better than dogs (and why Whiskey is basically a soulmate)
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High-person thoughts without being high (aka: do we all see colors the same?)
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Being an NPC, time-traveling, and the MC Hammer concert lore we didn’t know we needed
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Holding your nail tech’s hand by accident (because it’s intimate, okay??)
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The unsettling “hot Christian TikTok guy” and the fake baby doll moms of the internet
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And yes… the return of sperm eyebrows + the camo puff vest/tank top combo (pray for us) (Picture of Morgan's Eyebrows on IG Highlights haha)
Also: shoutout to Fusion Home Loans — getting deals done, making it happen, and somehow still having a good time while doing it.
✅ Don’t forget to follow, like, subscribe, and enter the giveaway (we’re posting more of what’s in the box so you actually want it 😂).