Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

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In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I break down the different permanency goals in foster care—reunification, adoption, guardianship, and independent living—and explain how these goals can shift quickly based on court decisions and family progress. I share how, in Michigan, most children enter care with reunification as the primary goal, meaning foster parents are tasked with providing daily care while also supporting family visits, medical needs, school enrollment, and stability during an incredibly chaotic time. I talk openly about how strongly I believe in children being with their families when it is truly in their best interest, but also why there comes a point where a child’s safety and long-term well-being must matter more than maintaining biological ties. Drawing from personal experience, I explain how long children can be kept in limbo before parental rights are considered for termination and how emotionally difficult that waiting period can be for everyone involved—especially the child.

I also walk through what happens when reunification is no longer possible and cases move toward adoption, guardianship, or independent living. I explain how adoption from foster care works, the legal rights it provides, and the realities of adopting children who often carry deep trauma from years in the system. I compare that with foster guardianship, which allows caregivers to take on full parental responsibility without terminating biological parental rights, and independent living, where older teens are prepared for adulthood through life-skills programs, budgeting, education, and job support. I share how several of our placements have moved through these different paths, including youths who aged out of the system, and how heartbreaking that process can be. I close by reflecting on how complex and fragile each permanency outcome truly is, especially for teens navigating identity, trauma, and major life transitions, and I invite listeners to share their experiences while reminding them they are not alone in this process.

00:00 — Introduction & Episode Focus

Overview of foster care permanency goals: reunification, adoption, guardianship, and independent living.

01:09 — Personal Update & Emotional Context

Grandfather’s passing, infant leaving, and why this topic was chosen for this episode.

01:59 — Foster Care & Reunification Explained

State wardship, legal limitations, and the foster parent’s role in reunification.

03:49 — Child’s Best Interest vs. Family Rights

When reunification may no longer be the safest option.

05:09 — Termination of Parental Rights Timeline

Michigan’s 15-month guideline and why kids shouldn’t stay in limbo.

06:37 — Adoption Through Foster Care

MER (Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange), trauma background, and legal changes after adoption.

09:32 — Foster Guardianship Defined

How guardianship works and how it differs from adoption.

11:11 — Independent Living & Aging Out

Budgeting, stipends, responsibilities, and youth independence.

12:32 — MYOI Program & Life Skills Training

Education, job skills, savings programs, and long-term support.

15:47 — Current Placement & Closing Reflections

Uncertain outcome, transgender youth challenges, and community invitation.