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Epcot has a funny way of rewriting reality: once you’re inside the World Showcase, time becomes a suggestion and your group starts making choices that feel brilliant until the next pavilion. We put that energy on the scoreboard by ranking every country with our highly scientific “Worst Decision Score,” starting with the question that starts arguments in every group chat: Mexico first or Canada first. We talk through why starting in Mexico is a 10 out of 10 risk, how “we’ll just have one” becomes the biggest lie of the day, and what to do when La Cava del Tequila and a margarita flight try to convince you to never leave.

As we go pavilion by pavilion, we call out the drinks that hit way harder than they taste: Norway’s Viking coffee for the post-Frozen crowd, China’s Tipsy Ducks In Love, Germany’s big beers that erase your pacing plan, Japan’s sake that quietly turns into an $80 tab, and France’s champagne confidence that makes you think you can suddenly speak French. Along the way, we share practical Disney World tips that actually help: splitting drinks with friends, alternating drinks and snacks, using the My Disney Experience mobile order whenever possible, and remembering that free cups of water exist even when your brain insists nothing is free at Walt Disney World.

Then we level up from “drinking around the world” to the monorail bar crawl, aka Disney Adult graduate school. We break down our favorite resort lounge stops at the Contemporary, the Polynesian (including the chaos and magic of Trader Sam’s Grog Grotto), and the Grand Floridian for a classier finish at Enchanted Rose. If you’re building an Epcot itinerary, planning a World Showcase day, or just want a hilarious reality check on theme park decision-making, this one’s for you.

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