『Ep18: Don't look at my rainbow bookcase』のカバーアート

Ep18: Don't look at my rainbow bookcase

Ep18: Don't look at my rainbow bookcase

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Ever bounced your leg under a desk, reread the same book for the fourth time, or needed total silence to concentrate but constant background noise to relax? This week Alisha and Rhiannon tackle stimming — one of the most misunderstood words in the neurodivergent world. Both hosts admit they spent years assuming stimming meant "sitting in the corner rocking back and forth," only to realise, once they understood their own neurodivergence, that they'd been doing it their whole lives in dozens of different ways. This episode is the moment of recognition they wish someone had handed them years ago. They walk through what's actually happening in your nervous system when you stim, why ADHD stims and autistic stims tend to look different, and run through category after category of real examples — movement, touch, sound, visual, oral, comfort and cognitive stims — including plenty that don't look anything like the stereotype. They also get honest about the harder side: the stims that cross into harmful territory, why shame makes them worse rather than better, and how to start redirecting a harmful stim toward something that meets the same need without the damage. What We Talk About in This Episode What stimming actually is: self-stimulatory behaviour your nervous system uses to regulate itselfThe "volume knob" analogy — why you stim more in some situations and not othersThe differences between typically ADHD stims (movement- and dopamine-seeking) and typically autistic stims (sensory regulation and grounding), and why AuDHD brains often do bothA full run-through of stim categories: movement, touch/tactile, sound/vocal, visual, oral/taste, pressure/comfort, and focus/cognitive stimsDozens of real, specific examples listeners are likely to recognise in themselves — many that don't look anything like the "rocking in a corner" stereotypeThe difference between helpful stims and harmful stims (skin picking, hair pulling, nail biting, compulsive scrolling or spending), and why the goal is redirection, not suppressionHow to figure out what a stim is actually giving you — stimulation, pressure, comfort, predictability — so you can find a less harmful way to get itWhen it's worth speaking to a GP, psychologist, OT or ADHD clinician about a stim that's causing injury or distressMasking and "socially acceptable" stims — how women in particular swap obvious stims for ones that fly under the radar, including phone scrolling, hair twirling and constant productivityScreen time as a stim for kids, and how the hosts think about it without falling into all-or-nothing parenting guiltBoth hosts' own newly-recognised stims, compiled live on the episode Key Takeaways Stimming isn't a sign that something is wrong — it's your nervous system trying to regulate itself, and everyone does some version of it.ADHD stims tend to be movement-based and dopamine-seeking; autistic stims tend to be more about sensory regulation and grounding; AuDHD brains often do both.Most people are already stimming constantly without recognising it as stimming, because it doesn't match the "rocking in the corner" stereotype.Helpful stims and harmful stims aren't morally different — they're both your body asking for something. The goal with a harmful stim is to find what need it's meeting and redirect that need somewhere less damaging, not to just try to stop.Shame is the biggest barrier to managing a harmful stim. Naming what's actually happening ("my brain needs X, not that I'm broken") tends to be the first real step. A Quick Explainer: What Is Stimming? Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behaviour) is any repetitive movement, sound, or sensory action your nervous system uses to regulate itself — to calm down, focus, process excitement, or block overwhelming input. It's not exclusive to autism or ADHD (most people stim to some degree), but it tends to show up more often, more visibly, or in a wider range of ways in neurodivergent brains. Stimming becomes worth addressing when it causes physical injury, distress or starts interfering with daily life — not simply because it looks unusual to other people. Who This Episode Is For Anyone who has ever wondered why they can't sit still, can't relax without background noise, or has a slightly-too-intense relationship with fidget toys, weighted blankets or rereading the same book. Also for parents trying to understand a child's repetitive behaviours without immediately assuming something needs to be "fixed." A Message From This Episode Stimming isn't something to be embarrassed about — it's something to understand. Once you know what your nervous system is asking for, you can give it what it needs without the shame. The better question was never "how do I stop," it's "what is my brain trying to tell me?" Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @...
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