What does it actually take to keep a friendship for 20 years? In Part 2 of this conversation, best friends Melanie Curtis and Shannon Lee show us — through wine, tears, ayahuasca, and a whole lot of radical honesty.

In this episode of The Best Friend Project, host Rachel Joy Swardson sits down with lifelong best friends Melanie Curtis and Shannon to unpack the real mechanics of a friendship built to last. They get honest about the moments most of us hide: the small confession over a bottle of wine that could've quietly become resentment, the hard conversation in the back seat of a car when heartbreak made one of them pull away, and the shadow parts of ourselves we'd rather no one ever see.

Together they explore the difference between putting yourself first, putting the other person first, and the reframe that changes everything — putting the friendship first. You'll hear why coming forward with an uncomfortable truth builds more trust than staying silent ever could, how deeper healing work in one area of life can quietly make you a better friend in all of them, and why so many of us were never taught that platonic love deserves the same intention we pour into romance and career.

In This Episode:

• The wine bottle confession how one small moment of honesty ("that was me") became a 20-year lesson in choosing the friendship over your ego
• What "shadow work" really means and why looking at the parts of ourselves we'd rather hide is the secret to showing up as a better friend
• Putting yourself first vs. putting the friendship first
• Why coming forward builds trust like nothing else — Shannon on how plant medicine and deep inner work helped her see her own patterns, own her part, and find peace when a letter went unanswered
• Why friendship breakups can hurt more than romantic ones

Connect with Melanie and Shannon:

@melaniecurtis11

MelanieCurtis.com

@luacheialuminosa

@greatspiritfarm

About The Best Friend Podcast

The Best Friend Podcast is where original friendship research meets real-life stories. Host Rachel Joy Swardson, founder of The Best Friend Project, investigates how women find, make, lose, and keep the platonic loves of their lives through original data, personal experience, and candid conversations.

Learn more, take the survey, and share your friendship story at TheBestFriendProject.co.

Chapters:

0:00 Previously On: Have I Loved My Friends Fully?

1:05 Do You Have a "Friendship Type"?

2:30 Becoming the Safe Container for Each Other

3:20 The Wine Bottle Story: Honesty Over Ego

5:20 Shadow Work: The Parts of Us We Hide

7:00 Pulling Away During Heartbreak

8:30 The Backseat Conversation

10:30 You Can't Cry With a Closed Heart

12:10 When You Need to Put Yourself First — and Say So

14:40 The Reframe: Put the Friendship First

15:20 Red Flags & Why Coming Forward Builds Trust

16:40 Ayahuasca & Healing the Friendship Wound

18:40 The Letter That Got No Reply

21:00 Why Friendship Breakups Hurt More

22:00 How Deep Healing Made Me a Better Friend

24:00 Society Deprioritizes Friendship — Let's Change That

26:00 Childhood Friendship Trauma & the Survey Data

27:00 Connect With Melanie & Shannon

29:20 Rachel's Reflection: Always Put the Friendship First

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