When does “I like them” become “I can marry them”? Rabbi Klapper opens this episode by asking a simple but urgent question: how many dates — and what kind of knowing — does it really take before you should consider engagement? He walks listeners through a clear, practical rhythm: use the first date to see if you can get along; use the second date to relax the conversation and begin surfacing hashkafic and practical priorities; treat the third date as the structural checkpoint where attraction, personality, and worldview should mostly line up. Rabbi Klapper stresses that dating without focus easily becomes endless socializing — and that emotional bonds formed too early can blind us to deal-breaking differences. He urges every dater to get honest guidance from a mentor or rebbe: a careful conversation with someone who knows you will help you see whether your hesitation is real concern or just understandable fear.

The takeaway is both firm and compassionate. Don’t date forever — set benchmarks: a moderate level of attraction, a real ease in personality, and roughly 90–95% clarity on hashkafah by the third date (if not, push for focused follow-ups). Build trust deliberately — small acts of vulnerability, checked by consistency — and always run big concerns past a wise, experienced adviser. If you leave each date with clearer answers instead of more confusion, you’re moving correctly; if not, slow down, ask for counsel, or kindly step away. This episode teaches how to date with intention so attraction leads to a grounded, lasting home — not just another good time.

Hosted by Rabbi Ari Klapper and produced by Eli Podcast Productions, this episode is part of the Real Judaism series, available on RealJudaism.org. Don’t forget to subscribe and share to stay connected with our daily lessons and timeless Torah insights!