What is the point of a first date — to interrogate, to impress, or simply to see if you can be together? Rabbi Klapper opens this episode by reminding listeners that the first date has a clear, humble purpose: discover whether two people can get along. It’s not a job interview, nor a performance; it’s an opportunity to show your best self and to listen. Dress respectfully, choose a quiet place that invites conversation, and bring a short, interesting topic you can talk about — then let the other person respond. Avoid rapid-fire questioning or distractions (movies, sports events) that defeat the point: the goal is a light, honest exchange that reveals personality and basic compatibility.

By the end of that first meeting you should have three practical answers: a moderate level of attraction, a pleasant feeling about personality, and no immediate deal-breaker on worldview. If those boxes are checked, give it a second date where, now that you’re more relaxed, you can start edging toward the deeper questions of hashkafah and life-direction. Rabbi Klapper’s takeaway is both simple and rigorous: date with intention — don’t rush, don’t ghost, and don’t weaponize chemistry — and treat the first date as the first step in a disciplined, honest path toward marriage. If it’s promising, invest the time; if not, move on respectfully.

Hosted by Rabbi Ari Klapper and produced by Eli Podcast Productions, this episode is part of the Real Judaism series, available on RealJudaism.org. Don’t forget to subscribe and share to stay connected with our daily lessons and timeless Torah insights!