Alton Byrd grew up without a father, then raised two kids across an ocean while playing pro basketball in the UK. This one is about figuring it out with no manual.

Alton joins Tony to talk about a fatherhood honestly. He's talks about the divorce, about the years he lived a plane ride away from his children, and about what he got wrong. What comes through is hard-won and simple: kids don't remember the stuff you buy them, they remember your time.

What you'll take from this episode:

• Why "what they want is your time" is the lesson that took him longest to learn
• Parenting from a distance after a divorce, and owning your part in it
• Raising kids who are "very different" without comparing them
• Moving from parent-of-children to parent-of-adults, and letting them lead
• The three things he'd tell any father: listen, listen to what they aren't saying, and love them no matter what

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Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open: what they really want
00:29 Meet Alton Byrd
02:00 British kids and the name Miles
07:30 Did he always want to be a dad?
09:30 Growing up without a father
13:30 Traveling the world with a baby
17:40 Why kids talk about mom
22:40 Figuring out fatherhood alone
26:00 The divorce and owning his part
28:00 The hardest lesson: time over things
33:50 When your kids become adults
42:40 "You owe me nothing"
43:40 Advice for dads in transition