Ep 27: Put on Your Mask First — Nick DeMarinis on Being the Dad You Want to Be
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Most dads ease into fatherhood one kid at a time. Nick DeMarinis skipped that part. He found out he was having identical twin boys while living in Hong Kong, 8,000 miles from family. In this episode, Nick shares the blueprint he built for present, intentional fatherhood: setting expectations with employers so he never misses what matters, co-parenting as a true team, and taking care of himself first so he has something real to give. From WeWork's turnaround to a PopAShot national championship, Nick proves you don't have to sacrifice the dad you want to be.
Key takeaways:
- How Nick's parents — a bread man and a teacher from New York — gave him a clear blueprint for fatherhood
- Why moving back from Hong Kong with twin infants taught him the power of structure and discipline
- How radical transparency with employers creates space for the dad commitments that matter
- The "survive and advance" mindset that got him and his wife through the first year with twins
- Why intentional one-on-one time with each twin is one of the most underrated things twin parents can do
- What his son Max's act of compassion toward a crying classmate told him about the dad he's becoming
- How the PopAShot national championship became a lesson in resilience and creativity for his boys
- The oxygen mask principle — why taking care of yourself first is the most selfless thing a dad can do
If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/
00:00 Nick introduces himself as Max and Luca's dad
02:15 Why the podcast format resonated with Nick right away
05:00 Growing up one of six kids in an Irish Italian Catholic family
08:30 Mom's compassion and adventure, dad's discipline and relationships
12:00 Moving to Hong Kong with LinkedIn — six years abroad
14:30 Finding out they're having identical twin boys
17:00 Seeing parenting in his older siblings — adoption, cerebral palsy, presence
21:00 The kind of dad Nick declared he would be from the start
24:30 Never missing a single pregnancy appointment
27:00 Paternity leave — being there for Diana, not just the babies
29:30 Moving back to the US, joining WeWork, the wild ride begins
33:00 Transparency at work — "the best job I've ever had is being a dad"
36:30 Creating the conditions you want instead of accepting default ones
40:00 Co-parenting as a team — playing to each other's strengths
44:00 The first year with twins: structure, survival, and celebrate every win
49:30 Max helping a crying classmate — the proudest dad moment
53:00 Luca as the voice of reason in a heated disagreement
55:30 Advice for twin parents: intentional one-on-one time
58:30 PopAShot: from shy crybaby to national championship competitor
64:00 Two Guinness World Records — 232 consecutive shots, 103-foot shot
68:00 What the boys have learned watching Nick compete, fail, and try again
72:00 Final advice: put on your oxygen mask first