Ep 146: Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives, Intimacy, and Marriage with Sex Therapist Keri Green
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Ep 146: Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives, Intimacy, and Marriage with Sex Therapist Keri Green
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Disclaimer: This episode contains explicit conversations regarding sex and physical intimacy. It is not suitable for little ears. Please use headphones or save this episode for later if you have children nearby.
In this episode of the Married and Connected podcast, host Kameran sits down with Keri Green, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and certified sex therapist, for a highly practical and direct conversation about the realities of physical and emotional connection in marriage.
Drawing from their professional expertise and personal experiences navigating divorce and dating, Kameran and Keri tackle the tough, often unspoken challenges couples face. From the impact of "sex sabbaticals" to managing mismatched libidos and performance anxiety, this episode provides actionable, evidence-based tools to help you and your partner build safety, trust, and genuine pleasure in your relationship.
Key Takeaways
- Staying for the Kids: A candid look at why waiting for the kids to grow up before addressing a fractured marriage often backfires, and why modeling a healthy relationship is paramount.
- The Danger of "Sex Sabbaticals": Why withholding intimacy as a punishment ultimately hurts both partners and turns spouses into mere roommates.
- Mismatched Sex Drives: Practical steps for bridging the gap when partners have drastically different desires for the frequency or type of sex, starting with redefining what "sex" actually means.
- Transitioning from Manager to Lover: How to drop the mental load of household chores and transition into an intimate headspace, including why foreplay actually starts the moment you wake up.
- Performance Anxiety: Understanding that both men and women experience physical and mental pressure in the bedroom, and how building body confidence and emotional safety counters it.
- Introducing Novelty: Why spicing up a long-term monogamous relationship doesn't require extreme measures—small, consistent changes in environment or routine make a massive difference.
Notable Quotes
"Foreplay begins the minute we wake up. Foreplay is anything we do throughout the day to show our partner we love them, we appreciate them, we're attracted to them." — Keri Green"Comfort first, pleasure second. We cannot find pleasure to the point where we want to, where we deserve to in a sexual experience unless we're comfortable." — Keri Green
"It takes two people to start a relationship. It only takes one to end it." — Keri Green
"The best sex that you can possibly have is with someone where you have so much trust and emotional intimacy and knowing, and not just honesty, but transparency." — Kameran
Connect with Keri Green
Keri Green is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Sex Therapist practicing in California and Colorado. She helps individuals and couples navigate relational and sexual challenges to build the sex lives they actually want.
- Website: Keri Green, LMFT, CST | Online Therapy
Work with Kameran
Looking for practical, direct support for your marriage? Kameran provides relationship and marriage coaching focused on evidence-based tools and individual responsibility. Please note: Kameran offers relationship coaching rather than traditional therapy, and services are not eligible for insurance reimbursement.
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