Ep. 131 - Not Quite Ready For Never | Mary Santora (Part 2)
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Ep. 131 - Not Quite Ready For Never | Mary Santora (Part 2)
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Mary Santora is 118 days removed from her last bet, but she isn't pretending the desire disappeared with it. In Part 2, she's brutally honest about what early recovery actually looks like: still romanticizing gambling, still missing it every day, and not ready to say she'll never gamble again. She opens up about the casino session that finally pushed her to self-exclude, choosing a five-year ban instead of a lifetime one, and sometimes staying in bed just so she doesn't have time to drive to a casino.
But the conversation becomes about something bigger than gambling. When Mary talks about missing the escape, the excitement, the zoning out, the numbing, it turns into a realization about the pattern that's followed her whole life: school, comedy, alcohol, gambling, all different ways of avoiding what she didn't want to feel. What follows is an emotional, unscripted conversation about surrender, discomfort, and learning how to stop running.
If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone.
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