Most communication advice tells you to say X words in Y tone and get Z outcome, but influence has never worked that way.

In this episode I sit down with Casey Erin Clark and Julie Fogh, co-founders of Vital Voice Training (VVT) and co-authors of The Authenticity Code. These are the women behind the support around my own keynote work, so I have been blessed to be on the receiving end of their magic. They founded VVT in 2014, in the middle of what they call the great moral panic over vocal fry, when every article was explaining what women needed to fix about their voices to be taken seriously. Their answer then is still their answer now: that advice sucks, and it does not actually help you show up. This episode is not just for women though, so hang in here.

Our conversation covers lots of ground including why "bringing your whole self to work" is shitty advice and how to better prepare for walking into your meetings. Julie explains why rehearsing your exact words is like writing a play that nobody else has lines for, and reframes intimidation as something that can come from holding your own power, not from making anyone else smaller.

We get honest about what AI is doing to the way we sound and how it's messing with the beautiful rough edges of our ideas. Casey talks about how this shows up on LinkedIn and Julie makes the case that the edges we're sanding off were the whole reason anyone was listening.

Tune in if you've ever been told to speak up more, or been called 'too much' of fill-in-the-blank and made yourself smaller to fix it.

Quotables:

Julie Fogh: "The goal is actually not to bring your whole self to work. I think that expectation has gotten a lot of people really messed up in their heads, because they think they're supposed to be just as open and relaxed at work as they are with their dearest friends. And I don't think our nervous systems are set up that way."

Julie Fogh: "Well, I want to have power, but I don't want to be intimidating. And my answer is: are you sure? Because intimidation doesn't have to be grotesque. It doesn't have to be something that makes someone else shrink, or makes them small. It can be about your own power."

Casey Erin Clark: "What is the standard that I want for myself that honors my core values, that honors the mark I want to make in the world, and that allows me to imagine a better future?"

Stop letting self-doubt dictate your decisions. Take back the power from your inner critic and take the Inner Critic Compass today to see which one is running your show. As a gift, I'll send you a toolkit to help you on your path to be your own best friend.

Connect with Casey and Julie:

• Vital Voice Training
• Casey Erin Clark on LinkedIn
• Julie Fogh on LinkedIn
• Book: The Authenticity Code. Podcast: VOICE(IS)
• Free monthly Zoom office hours, sign up here

Tosca's Links and Resources:

• Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter
• toscadimatteo.com
• LinkedIn and Instagram

If you enjoy The Unlock Lab, please rate, follow, and review wherever you listen. It helps more people find us.

Music: Adrian DiMatteo. Editing: Starlin Media.