We Fives often pride ourselves on intellect, but emotional intelligence is a whole different skill set.

In this episode, Sam E. Greenberg, PhD. joins us to explore what emotional intelligence actually means, why it's challenging for Fives, and how our relationships have pushed us to grow. We share real-life stories about misreading emotions, struggling to stay in our bodies, and the surprising benefits we've discovered from learning to feel more deeply.

We also dig into the shadow side of emotional intelligence, the ways different types approach emotions, and practical advice for Fives who want to build this vital skill.

IN THIS EPISODE:

🔹 Defining Emotional Intelligence – What it really means and why it's not just about understanding feelings intellectually.
🔹 Relationships as Teachers – How close relationships with Fours, Twos, and Sixes have accelerated our emotional growth (sometimes painfully).
🔹 Emotional Blind Spots – Real stories about misreading cues, confusing neutrality with happiness, and accidentally sending the wrong signals.
🔹 Building Emotional Intelligence – Why somatic work, creativity, and tolerating discomfort are critical for Fives—and what’s helped us the most.
🔹 Emotional Manipulation – How emotionally intelligent people can sometimes use their skills for manipulation, and how to spot it.
🔹 Moving from Intellectualizing to Feeling – Why staying in our bodies instead of our heads opens a deeper, richer emotional world.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

📩 Join the weekly newsletter: enneagramfive.com/newsletter
💬 Join the community: enneagramfive.com/community
🗒️ Full transcript and show notes: enneagramfive.com/47

JOIN THE CONVERSATION:

📢 How has emotional intelligence shown up in your life as a Five? Have you found ways to grow it? Share your stories in the community!

The Newsletter Built for Fives

🔹 Get weekly insights tailored for your overactive mind.
🔹 Practical strategies to stop overthinking and start engaging.
🔹 Growth, connection, and energy management—without the fluff.

👉 Sign up free at enneagramfive.com/newsletter.

***

RECOMMENDED NEXT EPISODE:

➡️ #27: Subtypes

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CONNECT:

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SAY THANKS:

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Fives often feel like outsiders, but what if the group we’ve always longed for already exists?

In this episode, we invite two longtime friends to join us for a candid conversation about what it’s really like to be friends with a Five. From hilarious stories to hard truths, we explore the highs and lows of maintaining deep, long-term friendships—especially when you tend to live in your head.

We reflect on shared histories, missed connections, and the emotional work required to sustain meaningful relationships over time. If you've ever struggled with investing in friendships, drifting apart from people you care about, or wondering whether you're too much (or not enough), this one is for you.

IN THIS EPISODE:

🔹 Friendship from the Outside In — What it’s like to be friends with a Five, from the perspective of a Seven and a Two.
🔹 Drifting, Reconnecting, and Reconstructing — Why friendships with Fives often fade and rekindle, and what holds them together long-term.
🔹 Anxiety, Energy, and Avoidance — How social anxiety, overthinking, and energy management affect how Fives show up in friendships.
🔹 From Judgement to Acceptance — How shared religious backgrounds shaped our self-righteousness, shame, and eventual emotional growth.
🔹 The Power of Being Seen — Why honest feedback from close friends is vital—and how it can transform your relationship with yourself.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

📩 Join the weekly newsletter: enneagramfive.com/newsletter
💬 Join the community: enneagramfive.com/community
🗒️ Full transcript and show notes: enneagramfive.com/46

JOIN THE CONVERSATION:

📣 What has your experience been like maintaining friendships as a Five? Do you relate to the cycles of connection and withdrawal we talked about? Share your story in the community!

The Newsletter Built for Fives

🔹 Get weekly insights tailored for your overactive mind.
🔹 Practical strategies to stop overthinking and start engaging.
🔹 Growth, connection, and energy management—without the fluff.

👉 Sign up free at enneagramfive.com/newsletter.

***

RECOMMENDED NEXT EPISODE:

➡️ #27: Subtypes

***

CONNECT:

📷 Connect on Instagram
🧵 Connect on Threads
💼 Connect on LinkedIn
📹 Subscribe on YouTube

***

SAY THANKS:

💜 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
🟢 Leave a rating on Spotify

In this live episode, we explore a surprising tension many Fives feel: the deep desire to be known and understood, and the equally strong instinct to hide. We unpack what’s really behind our aversion to vulnerability, how our subtypes shape this dynamic, and what it takes to show up even when we’d rather stay in our heads.

We also check in on how we’re actually doing, share what we’ve been researching lately (spoiler: lots of ChatGPT experiments), and talk about our current areas of growth. Plus, a tough “Would You Rather?” question that gets right to the heart of the Five dilemma.

IN THIS EPISODE:

🔹 Red, Yellow, Green Check-In – Why Cody’s been low-key overwhelmed and Josiah spiraled from a simple question at breakfast.
🔹 Current Curiosities – Both hosts have been down the ChatGPT rabbit hole, from building home servers to creating custom action figures.
🔹 Debunking the Myth – Do Fives really hate vulnerability, or are we just afraid of being misunderstood and depleted?
🔹 Subtypes and Being Seen – How self-pres and social instincts shape our comfort (or discomfort) with vulnerability.
🔹 Would You Rather – Constant curiosity with anxiety… or total peace with no drive to explore?
🔹 Growth vs Comfort – Josiah talks about adult kickball and the challenge of showing up without overpreparing. Cody shares his reluctant quest to get good at sales—and why he still tears up at award shows.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

💻 Join the Beyond the Mind beta group: enneagramfive.com/beyondthemind
📩 Get the weekly newsletter: enneagramfive.com/newsletter
💬 Join the community: enneagramfive.com/community
🗒️ Full transcript and show notes: enneagramfive.com/45

JOIN THE CONVERSATION:

📢 Do you want to be known—but find it hard to be vulnerable? What does that look like for you as a Five? Share your thoughts in the community!

The Newsletter Built for Fives

🔹 Get weekly insights tailored for your overactive mind.
🔹 Practical strategies to stop overthinking and start engaging.
🔹 Growth, connection, and energy management—without the fluff.

👉 Sign up free at enneagramfive.com/newsletter.

***

RECOMMENDED NEXT EPISODE:

➡️ #27: Subtypes

***

CONNECT:

📷 Connect on Instagram
🧵 Connect on Threads
💼 Connect on LinkedIn
📹 Subscribe on YouTube

***

SAY THANKS:

💜 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
🟢 Leave a rating on Spotify