Summer in Virginia used to mean Capri Suns, ninja throwing stars, and zero bills to pay. Now it's record heat, invasive insects, and full-time employment. This op-ed makes the only rational case: abolish summer entirely and bridge spring directly into autumn. Science will handle the birthdays.

With the World Cup happening in North America in 2026, it seemed like a good time to figure out what exactly the World Cup is. What is it? What is FIFA’s mysterious acronym? How many hit dice does a goalie have? Learn all of this and less!

Recaps of TV shows are wildly popular and incredibly important, so naturally I picked a random episode of a show I've never seen, for a recap format I've never written, and documented the resulting confusion in real time.

An investigation into the mysterious origins of a large rock sitting in the middle of a neighborhood street. When no answers are forthcoming, the only reasonable thing to do is write a formal review of it, including tasting notes.

A complete guide to celebrating the minor holidays of late June from fairy hunting to mud survival to fearing the even meatier.

Did you know June 4th is International Corgi Day? Or that June 8th is Name Your Poison Day? This guide to the obscure holidays of early June tells you everything you need to know, including proper attire and the correct way to greet people.

A visit to a budgie aviary can be harrowing. Beware the theropods!

Brandon J. Carr introduces Enlightened Nonsense, his weekly illustrated humor column about finding joy and silliness in everyday life.