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  • [PATREON PREVIEW] "Internet Riot Master"

    [PATREON PREVIEW] "Internet Riot Master"
    2026/04/10

    [A PREVIEW EPISODE OF THE PATREON EXCLUSIVE PODCAST "Internet Riot Master"]

    Join me as I venture into a story of online instigation, riotous nonsense, and a lot of lifting of things. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but what written by A.I. does?

    My wife gave me the gift of an A.I. book written for me? Or about me? By me? I'm not really sure, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to read it anyway, right?

    Come listen to me make my way through the slop, and help create a weird world all our own. What are you waiting for?

    BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE:

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    EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com
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    26 分
  • Short-isode: "Dumb Myths About Sleep"

    Short-isode: "Dumb Myths About Sleep"
    2026/04/03

    Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything "right" for your sleep, yet you’re still waking up exhausted? We spend a third of our lives unconscious, but most of what we think we know about those hours is a mix of old wives' tales and misunderstood science. In this episode, we’re peeling back the covers on the most persistent sleep myths that are sabotaging your rest.

    We start with the big one: the terrifying warning that waking a sleepwalker could be fatal. We’ll dive into why this myth exists, what actually happens to a sleepwalking brain, and the real dangers you should be worried about instead.

    Then, we tackle the "Sleep Debt" delusion. Can you really "catch up" on sleep over the weekend, or are you just digging a deeper hole for your circadian rhythm? We’re breaking down the biological reality of REM cycles and why your brain isn't a bank account you can just balance on Sunday morning.

    In this episode, we also explore:

    • The 8-Hour Rule: Why this "magic number" might actually be a modern invention of the Industrial Revolution rather than a biological necessity.

    • The Nightcap Trap: Why that glass of wine might help you fall asleep faster but is actually a chemical "wrecking ball" for your sleep quality.

    • Blue Light & Sleep Hygiene: the TikTok "hacks" from the peer-reviewed science of getting a better night's rest.

    Whether you’re a lifelong insomniac, a chronic snoozer, or just curious about what happens when the lights go out, this deep dive will change the way you look at your mattress. We’re separating the science of rest from the stories we tell ourselves in the dark.

    Stop counting sheep and start counting facts.

    GET THE BOOK: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠From Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠From an Indie Book Seller⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com

    The following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode--

    THE APOLOGIES SECTION: Medical professionals, people having wet dreams, people with insomnia, and the "you know who you are" people.

    A special thanks to Diedrich Bader and Jenna Fischer for all their inspiration.
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    42 分
  • Short-isode: State's Nicknames (“You just caught a palm strike to yo baby batter bag, bitch!”)

    Short-isode: State's Nicknames (“You just caught a palm strike to yo baby batter bag, bitch!”)
    2026/03/25
    So, this week I decided to take a break from the heavy lifting of a full novel to look at something equally weird: why the places we live have such bizarre "official" handles. Honestly, if you actually look into where state nicknames come from, it’s rarely a group of dignified founders sitting around a table. It’s usually just a bunch of 19th-century dudes making fun of each other until someone decided to put the insult on a license plate.What we're getting into:The Original Trolls: We talk about how a place like Missouri ended up with the "Show-Me" label. Spoiler: It wasn’t a compliment. It was basically a way of calling people from the Ozarks a little too "slow on the uptake" to understand a joke.The Nutmeg Scam: Connecticut is out here calling itself the "Constitution State" now, but back in the day, they were the "Nutmeg State" because their traders were legendary for selling fake, wooden spices to unsuspecting tourists. It’s basically the 1800s version of a crypto rug-pull.The Gopher Pivot: You’ve got Minnesota, which somehow turned a mean-spirited political cartoon about corrupt politicians into a cute mascot. It’s like if we started calling a state "The Dumpster Fire State" and then fifty years later everyone was wearing Dumpster Fire hats at football games.Bird Identity Politics: Why is Alabama obsessed with a "Yellowhammer"? And since when is a "Blue Hen" the peak of toughness in Delaware? We’re looking at the weirdly specific wildlife obsession that defines half the South.Silver vs. Dirt: Nevada’s constant struggle between wanting to sound like a treasure chest and admitting it’s mostly just covered in sagebrush.From the "Dark and Bloody Ground" of Kentucky to the "Sunshine" branding that hides a lot of corporate secrets, we’re digging into the labels we inherited. It’s a messy, hilarious, and totally nonsensical look at American self-branding.Give it a listen, stop yelling at traffic for ten minutes, and then go read a book. Seriously. Keep the brain cells firing, folks.GET THE BOOK: ⁠⁠⁠⁠From Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠From an Indie Book Seller⁠⁠⁠BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Elton Reads A Book A Week Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tips!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SOCIAL MEDIA!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠This is the LINK TREE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Discord server!⁠⁠EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.comThe following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode--THE APOLOGIES SECTION: Asian Blaxploitation actors, characters, etc., Alaska, Nebraska, well, all the states mentioned, if I'm being honest.A special thanks to Diedrich Bader and Jenna Fischer for all their inspiration.SHOW NOTES:Content TypeSoloPrimary GoalEducationalSummaryThis episode explores the quirky, controversial, and often disturbing origins of U.S. state nicknames, revealing their historical, cultural, and political significance.Keywordsstate nicknames, American history, U.S. states, cultural symbols, political history, folklore, racism, land rush, Native American historyKey TopicsOrigins of state nicknames in the 1800sRacism and political slogans in nicknamesLand rushes and land theft in OklahomaNative American history and treatiesCultural and political symbolism in nicknamesThe Hidden Histories Behind U.S. State NicknamesHow Racism and Land Theft Shaped American State Names"Tar Heel was an insult turned state pride""Gopher nickname from political cartoon in 1858""Yellow Hammer is a woodpecker, not a kung fu hero"Guest NametitlesSound BitesChapters00:00Introduction to State Nicknames03:09The Origins of State Nicknames06:16Missouri: The Show Me State08:47North Carolina: The Tar Heel State12:00Connecticut: The Nutmeg State14:48Indiana: The Hoosier State18:11Minnesota: The Gopher State21:12Delaware: The Diamond State24:06Alabama: The Yellow Hammer State27:03Nevada: The Silver State30:00Kentucky: The Bluegrass State33:12Oklahoma: The Sooner State36:05Reflections on State Nicknames
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    47 分
  • "Cranky Goes to Boom Boom Town" - "The Arrest" by Jonathan Lethem

    "Cranky Goes to Boom Boom Town" - "The Arrest" by Jonathan Lethem
    2026/03/13

    "Under the watchful eyes of Bob's Stratos and Apollo..."

    This week Elton is asking the big questions: What do you do when the world ends, not with a bang, but with a sudden, awkward silence?

    In this special crossover event, Elton is joined by the one and only Glen Nuzzle from the Nuzzle House podcast to unpack Jonathan Lethem’s post-technological fever dream, The Arrest.

    Imagine the "Off" switch for the entire world was flipped. No internet, no cars, no planes—just a sudden, quiet return to a pastoral life. This is the world of Sandy “Journeyman” Duplessis, a former Hollywood script doctor now living a humble life in rural Maine, delivering organic rutabagas and trying to forget his past.

    But the past has a way of showing up in a nuclear-powered, drill-nosed super-machine.

    When Sandy’s old frenemy, the legendary (and legendarily ego-maniacal) producer Peter Todbaum, rolls into town in the "Blue Streak," he brings more than just forbidden technology—he brings the toxic baggage of Hollywood storytelling to a world that was finally learning to live without it.

    • The Ultimate Rivalry: We dive into the petty, hilarious tension between a man who just wants to garden and a man who refuses to stop being the protagonist.

    • Post-Apocalypse... with Vibes: Is it a dystopia, or just a really long camping trip? Lethem flips the script on traditional "end of the world" tropes.

    • A "Nuzzle" Worthy Discussion: Glen Nuzzle brings his signature style to the table, helping Elton navigate the surreal landscapes and meta-commentary that only Lethem can provide.

    "It’s a story about the stories we tell ourselves to survive, and what happens when those stories are delivered by a man in a giant metal mole-car."

    Whether you’re a fan of high-concept literary sci-fi or you just enjoy hearing two guys talk about the absurdity of a nuclear-powered drill in a potato field, this episode is for you.

    GET THE BOOK: ⁠⁠⁠From Amazon⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠From an Indie Book Seller⁠⁠

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    The following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode--

    THE APOLOGIES SECTION: Clowns...again, flatulence, New York...again, those that get easily tricked, Penthouse Forum, and much, much more.

    A special thanks to Diedrich Bader and Jenna Fischer for all their inspiration.
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    2 時間 6 分
  • "Ain't the death of capitalism great!" Zoom: Surprising Ways to Supercharge Your Career by Daniel Roberts

    "Ain't the death of capitalism great!" Zoom: Surprising Ways to Supercharge Your Career by Daniel Roberts
    2025/11/18

    Is your career in a tailspin? Have you been walking blindly from one career dead end to another? Let wealthy CEOs give you, what Fortune Magazine believes passes for advice! Sure it's not practical...or useful in most cases, but you'll feel better knowing that people who've never known real hardship have your best interests at heart--or not. Still, it makes for a good maniacal rant! Come listen to Elton's brain break!

    "Fortune Zoom: Surprising Ways to Supercharge Your Career With Zoom, Fortune magazine extends one of its most successful franchises, 40 Under 40, to bring you original insight on the best-kept secrets of top entrepreneurs, business leaders, and rising tech stars. Discover how Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh built a uniquely attractive corporate culture, how Under Armour founder Kevin Plank took on Nike, and what Marissa Mayer told herself before leaping from a safe post at Google to the high-risk top job at Yahoo. Zoom features the fascinating profiles of these and other young innovators and provides readers with tips to fast-track their own career success. Additional contributors include: Omar Akhtar; Katie Benner; Ryan Bradley; Erika Fry; Miguel Helft; Michal Lev-Ram; Pattie Sellers; Anne VanderMey; and Kurt Wagner. Praise for Zoom "Zoom showcases dozens of today's brightest young business stars..."

    GET THE BOOK: ⁠⁠⁠From Amazon⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠From an Indie Book Seller⁠⁠ - Sorry, no listing for the indies. Damn.

    BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE:

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    The following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode--

    THE APOLOGIES SECTION: People wanting actual career advice, the people of The Great Depression, concert goers, mental patients, ramen, careers...

    A special thanks to Diedrich Bader and Jenna Fischer for all their inspiration.
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    1 時間 27 分
  • Short-isode: "The Worst Business Deal In American History"

    Short-isode: "The Worst Business Deal In American History"
    2025/09/21

    Imagine you're the person that could have bought Amazon stock for $18.00 per share or maybe Microsoft at $21 per share, better still, Facebook, Coca-Cola, and Apple at their initial public offerings. Now, imagine you could have bought into any of those kinds of PHENOMENALLY profitable companies BEFORE they went public. Finally, imagine you did just that, got in on the ground floor, and still...somehow...managed to come out on the losing end.


    This is that story.

    GET THE BOOK FROM AMAZON: ⁠The Best of The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader

    GET THE BOOK FROM AN INDEPENDENT BOOK SELLER: The Best of The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader⁠

    BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE:

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    The following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode--

    THE APOLOGIES SECTION: Uncle John, patient people, people that like longer episodes, and listeners like you.


    THANKS:

    Thank you for listening and sharing this podcast with others. It means a lot. I appreciate it, sincerely.

    A special thanks to Diedrich Bader, Jenna Fischer, and Steve Guttenburg for all their inspiration.


    [business, worst deal, American history, history, comedy, podcast, funny, company, corporations, corporate history, Ford, Model T, Daisy, bb gun, Henry Ford, business deal, near miss, hindsight]
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    35 分
  • Short-isode: The Welsh Madman Who Declared War on Reality (And Won) with Nothing But Books

    Short-isode: The Welsh Madman Who Declared War on Reality (And Won) with Nothing But Books
    2025/08/19

    Picture this: It's the 1960s, your Welsh hometown is dying, and everyone's telling you to accept reality and move to London. Instead, you read about American libraries closing down and think, "You know what? Opportunity." So you buy crates of abandoned books, ship them to Wales, open a bookshop in an old fire station, purchase a medieval castle, and turn it into a 24-hour honor-system bookstore. Then, for your next trick, you declare your town an independent kingdom and crown yourself monarch. The media goes insane, tourism explodes, and suddenly your "joke" has spawned dozens of copycat book towns worldwide and an international literary festival that attracts more visitors than your entire town's population. Meet Richard Booth, the Oxford-educated madman who proved that sometimes the most ridiculous ideas are also the most brilliant. This is the story of Hay-on-Wye: the town that books built, the kingdom that never was but somehow still exists, and the beautiful audacity of believing that literature can literally save the world—one used paperback at a time.


    GET A BOOK ABOUT IT HERE: To support independent book shops use this link.

    Or to just use Amazon use this link.

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    EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com

    The following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode--

    THE APOLOGIES SECTION: Pee-pees, horse politicians, Pac-man, decent people, Hay-on-Wye, the 1960s, fictional pregnancies, etc.


    A special thanks to Diedrich Bader and Jenna Fischer for all their inspiration.

    [Books, True Story, Biography, Welsh History, Independent Bookstores, Small Town Success, Entrepreneurship, Literature, Tourism, Medieval History, Book Towns, Hay-on-Wye, Richard Booth, Hay Festival, Used Books, Secondhand Books, Literary Tourism, Book Collecting, Wales Travel, Castle History, Eccentric, Self-Made King, Visionary, Maverick, Underdog Story, Against All Odds, Audacious, Unconventional Success, Supporting Local Business, Anti-Corporate, Community Revival, Sustainable Business, Cultural Preservation, Historic Preservation, Honor System, Trust-Based Economy, Comedy Podcast, Educational Entertainment, History Podcast, British History, European History, Business Success Story, Cultural Stories, Travel Stories, Inspiring, Funny, Unbelievable, Motivational, Quirky, Heartwarming, Revolutionary, Transformational, "How books saved a town", "Real life kingdom", "Medieval castle bookstore", "Honor system bookshop", "Self-proclaimed king"]
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    46 分
  • "Killa-B" 'i am Brian Wilson' by Brian Wilson, Ben Greenman

    "Killa-B" 'i am Brian Wilson' by Brian Wilson, Ben Greenman
    2025/08/07

    Brian Wilson had a gift, and a curse. His mind worked in a magically musical way, in that he could "see" whole, elaborate songs all in his head. It also allowed him to manifest those wonderful ideas in the real world, via the help of his family and friends. It would lead him to cofound a group that would change pop music forever, and have his particular genius recognized the world over as a unique and singular voice in the pantheon of singer-songwriters and composers.
    His mind was also his worst enemy that would send him spiraling into madness and self loathing that he would turn to drugs and nefarious characters for help, eventually becoming a recluse and musical oddity.
    "As a cofounding member of the Beach Boys in the 1960s, Wilson created some of the most groundbreaking and timeless popular music ever recorded, forever expanding the possibilities of pop songwriting. Derailed in the 1970s by mental illness, drug use, and the shifting fortunes of the band, Wilson came back again and again over the next few decades, surviving and--finally--thriving. Now he weighs in on the sources of his creative inspiration and on his struggles, the exhilarating highs and the debilitating lows. Whether he's talking about his childhood, his bandmates, or his own inner demons, Wilson's story, told in his own voice and in his own way, unforgettably illuminates the man behind the music, working through the turbulence and discord to achieve, at last, a new harmony."

    Join Elton as he ventures through Brian Wilson's second attempt at a memoir, and listen to him wrestle with guilt about taking advantage of the dead. Um,...oh, that came out wrong.GET THE BOOK: ⁠⁠From Amazon⁠

    ⁠From an Indie Book Seller⁠

    BECOME AN Elton Reads A Book A Week CONTRIBUTOR HERE:

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    EMAIL: eltonreadsabookaweek@gmail.com

    The following section is reserved for the people, places, things, and more that Elton probably offended in this episode--

    THE APOLOGIES SECTION: Beach Boy fans, Brian Wilson's ghost, falsetto singers, gangster rappers, Elton John (probably), Bernie Taupin (also probably)...

    A special thanks to Diedrich Bader and Jenna Fischer for all their inspiration.
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    1 時間 38 分