Siblings, Roles, and Therapy: Connection, Conflict, and the “Pie” of Attention

Philippa and Julie explore sibling relationships through personal experiences and clinical work, discussing how children take on roles (e.g., “good child,” eldest organiser, protector) and how grief and major life events can reshape sibling bonds. They reflect on how siblings can remember the same childhood events very differently, how play and shared memories can build belonging, and how conflict may reflect developmental negotiation or unmet needs—especially for children affected by trauma, neglect, or instability. They consider “trauma bonds,” parentification, jealousy and competition for attention using the “pie” metaphor, and the complex decisions around separating siblings in foster care/adoption. The episode also covers ways therapists assess and work with siblings (separately, together, and via family tasks like drawing), funding constraints, confidentiality, and using therapy to support felt safety and healthier family dynamics.

00:00 Exploring Family Ties: Childhood, Therapy, and Sibling Bonds, With Philippa and Julie
00:00 Sibling Roles and Memories
15:37 Therapy Siblings and Trauma Bonds
34:17 Only Child Parents And Sibling Conflict
37:24 Therapy Plans MIM And Sibling Work

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