『EP. 62 | The Third Person in Your Marriage: Betrayal & How to Regain Self Confidence?』のカバーアート

EP. 62 | The Third Person in Your Marriage: Betrayal & How to Regain Self Confidence?

EP. 62 | The Third Person in Your Marriage: Betrayal & How to Regain Self Confidence?

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概要

 The Third Person in Your Marriage Isn’t Who You Think. It is a "contract" you never signed, yet you’ve been living by its rules for years. In this house, there are three people in the bed: you, him, and the ghost of the third party’s expectations. Listen closely to this episode. I hope it blesses you. Welcome to Emotional Healing for Christian Women. Thank You! For listening/Watching. ⁠I’m Marvel Adeyemi⁠, a Psychotherapist, Relationship & Marriage Counsellor and Faith -Based Coach Imagine waking up without the weight of shame, fear, or loneliness. Imagine feeling worthy, confident, and at peace — walking through life with God beside you. That is the healing we begin together. Many people quietly struggle with rejection, anxiety, low self-worth, or the pain of past experiences. Some fear repeating painful patterns in their parenting or relationships. If that sounds familiar, please know that healing is possible. Through a biblical lens and compassionate conversations, this podcast explores how to rebuild self-worth, restore trust, and rediscover peace and clarity so you can move forward with confidence and hope. WHAT NEXT? 📌Work with me 1:1: book a session: ⁠Book Here⁠ ✅ Get resources⁠ for guidance and healing from past wounds and finding clarity and purpose. ✅ Order my new book, Beyond the Hurt. ⁠E-book ⁠ and ⁠Paper back⁠ ✅Please leave a comment/review, subscribe/follow and share. ✅ Join my private WhatsApp group. Send me a request by email ✅ ⁠ email⁠ - contact@wholesomecounselling.com ✅ Book a 1:1 Coaching Call if you’re ready to dive deeper into your healing journey. ⁠https://marveladeyemi.com.au/⁠ Connect with me, online for Counselling and coaching. I support high-achieving women and Couples in Ballarat, Melbourne Victoria- Australia, and globally who are ready to transform their relationships through inner child healing, Interpersonal Therapy and faith-led wisdom. TRANSCRIPT 00:00 – 03:00 | Segment 1: The Definition & The Shock Lats discuss an issue that often stays hidden behind closed doors and "polite" social media posts. We’re talking about the Three-Person Marriage. What is it? It’s not just about a physical affair. A three-person marriage is any dynamic where your partner has granted a third entity—be it an affair partner, a parent, or even a toxic addiction—the same or higher priority than the marriage covenant. It is a "contract" you never signed, yet you’ve been living by its rules for years. The Scope: We see this in infidelity, yes, but we also see it in Addiction or familial Enmeshment. Imagine a husband who cannot protect his wife from his mother’s insults. Imagine a man who equates "leaving his betrayal partner with "abandoning" her. In this house, there are three people in the bed: you, him, and the ghost of the third party’s expectations. The Brain & The Shock: When you first realize this pattern—whether you overhear a conversation or finally "see" the neglect—your brain undergoes a massive trauma response. The Amygdala (your brain’s alarm system) goes into a state of "High Alert." It floods your body with cortisol. This is why, in the beginning, you feel "unreal." But once the initial shock wears down, the damage reveals itself. Nightmares and Night Terrors: Your brain is trying to process the "Betrayal Trauma" while you sleep. Hyper-Vigilance: You start scanning for threats. You can’t sleep because your nervous system no longer feels "safe" in your own home. 03:00 – 08:00 | Segment 2: The Pattern & The Symptoms Let's look at the symptoms. How do you know you are the "Third Person" in your own marriage? The Absence of Protection: You are humiliated or disrespected—perhaps by a family member or even a stranger—and your partner goes quiet. He doesn't stand up for you. He chooses "peace" with the outsider over "loyalty" to you. The Chameleon Effect: He is a "nice guy" to the world, a "people pleaser" at church, but at home, he is emotionally bland, avoidant, or passive-aggressive. The Weight of the Mental Load: You are the "Spark Plug." Nothing moves unless you push it. You manage the children, the repairs, the social life, and the spiritual life. He is simply a "Tenant" in the life you built. The Disappearing Act: When you try to address the "Three-Person" dynamic, he withdraws. He might get a migraine, go to sleep, or accuse you of being "aggressive" for setting a basic boundary. A Story of Revelation: Think of a woman who spent 10 years in this emotional warfare. She was intelligent, high-achieving, and beautiful. But she found herself in a small room, sleeping apart because her husband’s "passivity" had become a wall. She realized he had been "married" to his addiction or trauma for two decades. She wasn't his partner; she was a threat to his unhealthy enmeshment. 08:00 – 13:00 | Segment 3: The Danger of "Premature Repair" This is the most important part of today’s ...
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