In the launch episode of Girl, Wake Up!-released the same day her book drops-we go inside the real story of Dirty John with Tonia Bales, the first wife of the man who would later become infamous as one of America’s most notorious con artists and predators.

Long before podcasts, Netflix series and headlines, Tonia lived this story from the inside. Her book with Amy Jauman, When You See It: How I Outsmarted & Outlasted Dirty John, shares this incredible backstory.

In this powerful conversation, Tonia reveals how predators hide in plain sight-using charm, credibility and coercive control to quietly dismantle a woman’s sense of safety and self. Together, we break down the early warning signs women are often conditioned to ignore, how con men gain control inside intimate relationships and what it takes to escape and heal after psychological manipulation.

This episode isn’t just about Dirty John.

It’s about how these men operate, why strong women are targeted, and how awareness saves lives.

We cover:

1. The red flags Tonia didn’t yet have language for
2. How coercive control slowly takes hold
3. Why leaving is far more complex than “just walking away”
4. The hidden aftermath of psychological abuse
5. Turning survival into purpose-and helping other women now

Today, Tonia uses her voice to help women trust their instincts, recognize danger sooner and reclaim their power.

If you’ve ever dismissed a gut feeling, minimized a red flag, or wondered “Was it really that bad?”-this episode is your wake-up call.

📘 Tonia Bales’ new book is out today! Get it here.

Her website: www.toniabales.com

Find her on Instagram: @toniabales

Find her on Facebook: Tonia Sells Bales

Learn more about Amy Polacko's work and free 15-minute Coaching Consultations here.