Unpacking Attachment, Triggers, and Co-Parenting With a Narcissist (Eli Harwood Recap)

Vanessa Reiser and co-host Dave recap Vanessa's prior interview with Eli Harwood ("The Attachment Nerd"), highlighting takeaways on attachment, healing from narcissistic abuse, and co-parenting dynamics. They discuss how people can have trauma histories without becoming abusive, and how the effects of an abusive relationship can persist in the nervous system for decades. Vanessa and Dave explore safety concerns around exposing a narcissist, smear campaigns, documentation, and the long-game tactics used in custody disputes, emphasizing the need for trauma-informed therapy and strategic protection. They focus on supporting children by validating their lived experience without disparaging the other parent, teaching fact vs. fiction to counter gaslighting, and creating secure attachment with one healthy parent, which Eli noted can significantly improve long-term outcomes. They close by emphasizing co-regulation, warmth, and safe environments as foundations for healing.

00:00 Podcast Intro Warning

01:17 Recap Eli Harwood

02:03 Getting Triggered

03:55 Attachment Takeaways

04:43 Trauma And Narcissism

06:55 Lingering Danger

09:26 Expose With Caution

10:49 Smear Campaign Strategy

15:55 Co Parenting Court Games

19:19 Politics Narcissism Lens

20:42 Trump As Case Study

22:10 Democracy And Justice

23:17 Fight Fire With Fire

24:23 Co Parenting After Abuse

26:24 Teaching Kids Reality

28:58 Validating Without Smearing

30:37 When Kids Fear Telling

37:22 Getting Outside Support

40:37 Secure Attachment Takeaways

43:05 Closing And Resources