Cum Dumpster Diary Karaoke
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Kid and Fiona return with a masterclass in romantic elegance: we debate the finer points of industrial-grade cum dumpster usage, rank the top 10 vintage stinky-pussy bouquets, and discover why your dick still throbs like a club speaker even after Nut #47. Then, in a moment that will be studied by historians, legendary karaoke warlord Brown Eye blesses the mic with his velvet renditions of Air Supply and other certified wrist-slitters. We close out with our feel-good segments: "Best Soundtracks to Yeet Yourself To" and "How to Drown in the Shallow End Without Looking Like a Quitter." Bring tissues—for your tears, your dick, or both.
DETAILED TIMELINE (now with punchlines)
1:00 – "Right in the cooter" (direct deposit, no ATM fees)
2:00 – Some ladies I want in my mouth (taste-test Tuesday)
3:00 – Make sure that shit is clean (pineapple juice PSA)
4:00 – My head is kinda on her ass (basically furniture at this point)
5:00 – Fingers in the face (free high-five with purchase)
6:00 – This factory is shut down (OSHA violated, uterus on strike)
7:00 – Can you email me your report (STD results in PDF, please)
8:00 – Who says you're gonna last forever (spoiler: your dick doesn't)
9:00 – The age we're at (when your back cracks louder than she does)
10:00 – Weird shit dripping from the vagine (call it abstract expressionism)
11:00 – Brown Eye live karaoke debut (bring earplugs and Prozac)
12:00 – "I'm all out of love" (Brown Eye channeling every divorced dad)
13:00 – "I'm so lost without you" (he's looking at you, Susan)
14:00 – Straight-up depicted everything (trauma in 4K)
15:00 – Rosette song (now legally a war crime in 12 states)
16:00 – "If you want to be happy" (irony level: expert)
17:00 – Are you fucking serious right now (yes, dead-ass)
18:00 – I was so fucking mad (rage-boner achieved)
19:00 – Because it's so depressing (we're one ballad away from a group hug)
20:00 – When do you want to go (existentially or just leaving the call?)
21:00 – Drowned yourself (bathtub's ready, candles are lit)
22:00 – "I know" – Final Words (mic drop into the void)
23:00 – Throwing yourself into traffic (pro tip: wait for Uber Surge)
Listen now and try not to yeet yourself into the sun before the outro. Go Deep—or at least go home and cry in the shower like the rest of us.