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What if your path to calm runs opposite to your partner’s—and both are valid? Are you a Self-soother or a Connection Seeker? Which path helps you feel regulated and calm? (Don't know...take this short quiz to find out https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422)

We dive into a familiar crossroads for parents: one of us needs quiet to settle, the other needs connection to breathe again. Instead of calling it incompatibility, we map the tension with the 30–70 principle, a simple way to see how emphasis—not character—keeps couples stuck. You’ll hear how a self-soother often points to the 30 percent of tangible efforts they make, while a connection seeker can’t look past the 70 percent of misses that still hurt. Once we name the patterns, the story changes from “you’re the problem” to “we have different calming codes.”

We bring this to life through Connor and Samar, a loving pair juggling work, kids, and a world that won’t slow down. Connor reaches for talk, touch, and presence to feel secure. Samar restores by pausing, thinking, and moving solo—often while carrying a heavy mental load that makes her effort invisible. We dig into why those differences flare under stress and how small shifts make a big difference. For connection seekers, the work is to let the good moments be good, receive care without minimizing it, and still ask for more. For self-soothers, the move is to hold your partner in mind with brief, reliable signals—text check-ins, five-minute touchpoints, and clear return times after a pause—so space doesn’t read as rejection.

If this resonates, follow the show, take the quiz linked in the notes, and share this episode with a friend who’s balancing love and life at full speed. Your review helps more couples find tools that work—what was your biggest takeaway today?

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

If you’ve wondered how to talk about violence, power, and dignity without overwhelming your home, this conversation offers tools rooted in our expertise in nervous system regulation, and everyday compassion. We open up about why we’re choosing to speak plainly about human dignity.

From there, we get practical. We share a simple four-step framework to move from silence to steady action: clarify your values, align with your partner, tell a thoughtful story to your kids, and decide how you will say "no" to dehumanization. Alignment doesn’t demand identical opinions; it asks for shared values that guide how you speak, set limits, and model courage. We also talk about how kids feel the energy we think we’re hiding, and why offering coherent, calm language restores safety in the family system.

Listen for practical examples—to refuse the dehumanizing climate taking place in our country —and see how small, repeated acts become a family culture. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review to help more families find support.

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us know at info@couplescounselingforparents.com

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Most couples don’t get stuck because they argue too much—they get stuck because repair never fully happens.

In this episode, we start with a familiar story: a couple caught in the same end-of-day conflict that looks like it’s about dinner, help, or logistics. But beneath that moment is something far more important—two partners reaching for connection in completely different ways, and missing each other every time.

From there, we shift the focus to repair: what it actually is, why it matters more than resolving the content of a fight, and why so many well-intentioned couples struggle to do it. Repair isn’t about fixing the problem, multitasking better, or saying the “right” thing. It’s about slowing down enough to name the emotional bind underneath the conflict and tending to the story each partner is living inside of.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why unresolved repair—not conflict—is what erodes connection over time
• How attachment histories shape what repair needs to look like for each partner
• What real repair requires: attunement, vulnerability, humility, and grace
• How naming the bind can soften the cycle and open the door back to each other

If you and your partner keep circling the same arguments and wondering why nothing ever truly feels resolved, this episode offers a different path forward—one where repair becomes the foundation for trust, safety, and lasting connection.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...