In this episode, I speak with a mother who wants to be a more loving, present, and supportive parent… but keeps noticing that what she intends as help is often experienced by her family as criticism.

Together, we explore what happens when awareness arrives after the moment, and you can finally see the impact of how you’ve been showing up, but don’t yet know how to consistently do it differently.

We talk about the heartbreak of hearing your child say, All I remember is you yelling.

The tension between who you were and who you’re trying to become.

And the messy, human process of repairing relationships while you’re still learning.

This conversation moves beyond just be more empathic and into the deeper work of:

•How to stay open when your past is still being brought into the present

•Why “helping” often sounds like criticism to our kids

•How to shift from controlling and correcting to connecting and coaching

If you’ve ever thought, I’m trying so hard to do better; why does it still come out this way?, this episode is for you.

Listen to learn:

•Why awareness often comes after the moment, and why that’s not failure

•How to repair with your child without collapsing into shame

•The difference between guiding your child and trying to shape them

If you’re wanting more support in shifting from correction and control to connection and attunement, I go much deeper into this work inside my Parenting Masterclass available in the School of Human Connection.

Inside, we explore:

•how to work with your own reactivity and judgment

•how to build connection without losing structure or boundaries

•and how to support your child’s development without trying to shape or fix who they are

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Read more on the blog.

Use code SOHC to get 50% off your first month in the School of Human Connection. Learn more here.

Use code YVETTE to get 20% of your annual subscription at nvclibrary.com

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

How do you respond when someone you love says they feel guarded around you?

Carol’s question about how to start a difficult conversation quickly reveals something deeper: a long history of sibling dynamics, childhood wounds, and the painful feeling of being the less-loved child.

Together, we unpack what guardedness really is, why it forms, and how resentment, longing, and the need to feel loved can all live just beneath the surface.

This conversation is an invitation to move beyond trying to change others—and instead begin the deeper work of understanding ourselves, softening our defenses, and creating the conditions where something new might emerge.

Listen to learn:

• Why guardedness in relationships is often mutual—even when it doesn’t seem that way

• How resentment can keep others “on the hook” and quietly block connection

• Why healing relational wounds requires more than insight—it requires new relational experiences

Read more about softening on the blog.

Use code SOHC to get 50% off your first month in the School of Human Connection. Learn more here.

Use code YVETTE to get 20% of your annual subscription at nvclibrary.com

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this episode, I speak with two callers whose stories reveal a powerful tension many of us live inside: trying to heal in a culture that wants to fix us.

Kate struggles with crying that shows up quickly in conversations and professional settings. Her inner critic tells her this means something is wrong with her. Together we explore a different possibility: that tears may be the nervous system’s way of releasing pain and restoring balance.

Shelly’s story reveals another layer of the same dynamic. After years of trauma and nervous system dysregulation, she longs for empathy and understanding from her husband, but instead encounters pressure, misunderstanding, and cultural shame around emotional struggle. We explore what it means to pursue healing when the people closest to us may not understand the journey.

These conversations point to a deeper truth: many of the emotional responses we’ve been taught to suppress are actually the body’s natural attempts to heal.

Learning to trust those signals, and to create space for our own healing path, can change everything.

Listen to learn:

• Why crying and emotional release are often signs of healing, not weakness

• How shame around emotions gets reinforced by culture, family, and relationships

• How fix-it thinking can unintentionally block emotional healing

• What to do when the people around you don’t understand your healing journey

Read more on the blog: Healing in a Fix-It Culture

Use code SOHC to get 50% off your first month in the School of Human Connection. Learn more here.

Use code YVETTE to get 20% of your annual subscription at nvclibrary.com

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube