Well, it happened again…

I picked a word for my year, and it had nothing to do with me.

For 2025, I decided my word would be CONSISTENCY. I wanted to be consistent with working out, blogging, and showing up for John and Rhema (at the time).

I didn’t realize I was pregnant yet. And although that was the plan for 2025, I had no idea—or maybe I forgot—how much pregnancy makes your life anything but consistent.

I remember asking God why that word was put on my heart. I thought maybe it was something I made up in my head and God had no part in it. I thought maybe I wasn’t listening “right” or maybe He wasn’t actually speaking to me.

This was a theme I felt a lot during my pregnancy. I felt like He wasn’t listening to my prayers and I couldn’t hear Him as clearly as before.

I felt like a failure. I couldn’t do anything consistently. Between horrible nausea and extreme tiredness, I was chasing a toddler. I couldn’t even read my Bible or pray consistently. I was telling God sorry so many times this year.

Ironically, I hung on to God’s Words and promises even more this pregnancy than during my first one. So much more brought me to my knees in prayer. One major difference was simply knowing how scary pregnancy can actually be.

It wasn’t until after my baby girl was born that I realized what God was teaching me through that word, consistency.

He wasn’t wanting me to be consistent. He wasn’t asking me to wake up at 5 am every morning to read my Bible, work out, and make a vlog about it.

He was teaching me about HIS character. He was showing and reminding me that although I wasn’t consistent, HE WAS. His love and forgiveness didn’t change based on what was going on in my life—which is how human relationships work. He was showing up, pursuing, and loving me. Consistently, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.

And that’s what He did in my heart this year. There are so many things I’m not proud of, things I wish I would have done better. But I was growing a human, and there’s so much grace there. And although inconsistent circumstances in life may test human relationships, I am here to say that it strengthens your relationship with God if you let Him.

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