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  • CC v2.1.1 (BETA) | The AGITATOR, The ADVERSARY & The ASTRONAUT
    2025/12/22

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    010 | We (and by we, we mean Ryan) come off hiatus (and git commits), with a new format in development at the time of this writing.

    Anyway, we reflect on the assassination of a political podcaster and the unexpected empathy he had for someone Ryan's disagreed with 65% of the time.

    ALSO:

    • Liberal John McCain does Liberal John McCain things
    • (American) Football TikTok is inadvertently using ISIS propaganda
    • Man with receding hairline unapologetically screams at popular US senator weeks after apologizing for politely critiquing a controversial US congresswoman (MAKE IT MAKE SENSE)
    • We share some essential life advice from a future basketball (and New Jersey) hall-of-famer.

    📚 We cited some sources for some of the content presented in this episode: https://www.notion.so/2d11ebb0a9fe816dade9efcf46a8951c



    Twitter | Instagram | TikTok: @concacpodcast


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    18 分
  • Give Us 33 Minutes, and You’ll Understand Why This Podcast Had to Happen
    2025/05/17

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    Five months ago, Concrete Cactus started as a dry run. A side quest. A way to speak honestly without breaking under the pressure. What it’s become is still evolving—but this episode? It’s the closest we’ve come to hitting what we set out to build: fire meets reflection.

    We don’t just recap headlines here—we reckon with them. From wildfires in Jersey to an autistic child navigating Arizona’s broken care system. From subway chaos in NYC to establishing Jameis Winston’s true calling as the Giants’ Team Chaplain. And yes—Brandon finally gets to neo-glaze Shedeur Sanders.

    This episode touches the raw edges of what it means to advocate, endure, and show up when the world doesn’t make it easy.

    In this episode:

    • Media bias, ego, and why people stop speaking up
    • The systems that fail people long before anyone notices
    • A quiet moment that reframes whether you’ve been misunderstood—or undiagnosed

    Somewhere after the 33-minute mark, the curtain drops—and the why behind this podcast starts speaking for itself.

    If you’ve ever had to stay strong because no one else could...
    If you’ve ever been the one who keeps it together while unraveling underneath...
    If you’ve ever felt invisible until you broke—

    Give us 33 minutes. You’ll understand.


    ⚠️ This episode includes a brief reference to suicidal ideation. If you're struggling, please reach out. Seek medical attention. If not,Call or text 988 (U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).

    Twitter | Instagram | TikTok: @concacpodcast


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    41 分
  • 007 | Phoenix Suns and the Spirit of Self-Sabotage
    2025/04/22

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    What do Suns owner Mat Ishbia, Elon Musk, and American Water Works have in common (besides being billionaires)? Self-sabotage.

    From luxury tax flameouts to the planned demolition of local landmarks, this episode tours the many ways power mismanages potential—and the regular folks who pay the price.

    Ryan kicks things off with an early COVID-era flashback that crashes into Jersey’s reemerging lanternfly infestation. Brandon drags us into the impending implosion of the Union Lollipop (aka “The World’s Tallest Water Sphere”)... and things only spiral from there:

    🧠 Why helping people in Arizona might get you robbed
    🐘 Lucy the Elephant vs. Elon Musk’s federal defund energy
    🚇 Necrophilia on the NYC subway (yes, really)
    🏢 A $3.8B designer jail in Chinatown
    🗽 Reminder: The Statue of Liberty is in New Jersey—deal with it
    🎙️ Stephen A. Smith 2028 (Brandon says no. Ryan says “send it.”)

    And then Ryan drops a handful of monologues—including one of the rawest closers we’ve had yet.

    ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
    00:00 – Cold Open
    01:15 – Revenge of the Lanternflies
    02:25 – Farewell to the Union Lollipop
    05:52 – Billionaire Breeder vs. Lucy the Elephant
    10:01 – Helicopter Tragedy on the Hudson… or NYC?
    12:06 – Morbidness on the Subway is a Common Motif (Viewer Discretion Advised)
    16:35 – NYC’s First Designer Prison
    18:28 – What About Rikers?
    19:42 – Mayor Meme Mourns Many
    20:35 – Minimal Grift Moment™
    21:04 – Non-Revisionist WAHIs Segment
    23:30 – Triple C Gets Double-Crossed by Subtypical Phoenix Goofy
    25:59 – The Phoenix Buns Postseason Begins
    29:33 – How the 2021 Finals Loss Inspired a Romantic Getaway
    31:06 – Chris Paul’s PR Arc
    33:19 – WHO Will Be the Next Suns Head Coach?
    37:46 – Pistons Getting Pissy With Knicks Fans
    39:15 – Purple Politics
    41:43 – Errors & Omissions
    42:35 – Stephen A. Smith 2028
    44:15 – Weekly Anti-Transformational Coach Pep Talk
    45:28 – Viewer Comments (TW: Self-harm)
    50:10 – Wrap-Up & Final Wisdoms


    It’s satire with scars. Absurdity with insight.
    From the concrete.
    Cactus.



    Twitter | Instagram | TikTok: @concacpodcast


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    52 分
  • 006 | yankees using TORPEDO BATS?!
    2025/04/10

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    006 | Torpedo bats. OMNY & TAPP to-pay systems. Drunk mayors. You can’t make this up—but Concrete Cactus can break it down.

    🧨 The Bronx Bombers are back—but this time, they brought missiles. Is it innovation… or war crimes at the plate? We—and by ‘we,’ we mean just Brandon—give the Yankees’ torpedo bat conspiracy a fresh pair of legs.

    Also in this episode:
    – We drive you into “God’s country”—and all its pothole-filled glory.
    – Fresh off going independent, Mayor Eric Adams advocates for his initiative dubbed ‘Cop City.’
    – Arizona’s Stolen Valor law stalls—after a real veteran blocks it to protect a fake one. Only in the desert, baby.
    – The Giants’ QB room becomes a heavenly Oreo: two devout saints on the outside and a wiseguy in the middle.

    All that—plus some soul-searching sandwiched between the nonsense.
    It’s deep. It’s regional. It's “Lightweight Hilarious”. It’s Cactus.

    00:08 – MetroCard Farewell Tour Begins

    01:42 – Torpedo Bats: Bronx Bombers Playing War Games?

    03:26 – Ranking the States Ryan Hates Most (Spoiler: Florida Still #1)

    04:30 – AZ vs NJ House Party Showdown

    05:47 – Potholes, Sinkholes & Federally Funded Glory Holes 🕳️ (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)

    07:07 – Transit Secretary Talking Dirty… About the Wrong City (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)

    08:59 – March Madness Returns to Newark 🏀

    09:48 – Giants QB Room Went Black

    12:34 – First All-Black QB Division (And White Cornerbacks Just Watching)

    13:06 – Stephen A. Smith vs LeBron (Now with Windhorst Catching Strays)

    16:04 – NJ Mayor Arrested for DUI With Her Kid in the Car

    17:48 – Arizona’s Stolen Valor Bill Gets Stalled by… a Real Vet?

    19:34 – Cop City: Mayor Eric Adams’ Police Playground

    21:12 – Errors (and an Omission)

    24:27 – How to Stand Up a Video Podcast (In 3 Months or Less): A Case Study

    25:50 – Wrap-Up: Stay Skeptical, Stay Warm 🌵


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    29 分
  • 005 | Mark Kelly Grounds #Tesla 🚗
    2025/03/28

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    Mark Kelly trades in his Tesla for a tank and calls Elon Musk an “a**hole” on live TV. Meanwhile, LeBron James and Stephen A. Smith reignite a 21-year ego feud, and we break down one of the weirdest music videos in NYPD history, and tap into our inner-nostradamus with some free agency predictions that came true post-taping.

    Also in this (unusually compressed) episode:

    IN MEMORIAM – one that actually matters

    • Devin Booker isn’t leaving Phoenix. Enough.

    • Errors & Omissions: stuff we got wrong (or didn’t mean to lie about)


    Raw commentary, absurd news, and just enough facts to survive the group chat. Subscribe for semi-weekly chaos, callouts, and advice from AZ to NJ.


    #Tesla #ElonMusk #MarkKelly #StephenASmith #LeBronJames #NFLFreeAgency #JoeBudden #NYC #DevinBooker #Politics #News #Podcast

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    25 分
  • 004 | grapefruit league
    2025/03/09

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    Join Ryan & Brandon—as they break down the absurdity of current events with humor, sharp insights, and just the right amount of cynicism.

    In this episode:
    • Ukraine. There. We said it.
    • Certified Transformation Coaches
    • Ryan's political typology REVEALED
    • IN MEMORIAM: A lot
    • A masterclass in proper political discoursing on TikTok

    Timestamps:

    00:00 - *Cold open*
    01:49 - What's going on with Ukraine?
    05:20 - What if.. New York.. got NUKED?! (View Discretion Advised)

    *Hot Takes and Cold subs*
    07:00 - Congestion pricing profits
    08:59 - RIP KINGDA KA
    10:35 - RIP RAINFOREST CAFE MENLO PARK
    12:17 - Sneakerhead Train Heists: Arizona’s latest Crime Trend

    13:36 - *Political segment starts here*
    13:56 - Cuomo for mayor?
    15:34 - Astronomical Twitter beef (View Discretion Advised)
    17:33 - Native New Jerseyans arnt full-blooded Democrats.. or Republicans...
    20:57 - RIP THE OLDEST MAYOR IN AMERICA

    21:10 - *Sports segment starts here*
    21:51 - RIP JOEL EMBIID'S SEASON (AND CONTRACT?)
    22:27 - Phoenix Buns news
    24:22 - RIP HOOTERS
    25:38 - More Phoenix Buns news
    26:57 - Kyler Murray might just end up being A QB1 in the Meadowlands
    27:45 - Aaron Rogers might just end up being A QB1 in the Meadowlands (AGAIN).
    28:53 - EVEN More UNSOLICITED Superbowl 59 stats!

    *Wrap Up*
    30:32 - Arizona (Literally) has the most Deadliest Roads in the United States
    32:40 - We read (Then glaze) your comments!
    34:46 - FIN.

    Twitter | Instagram | TikTok: @concacpodcast


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    35 分
  • 003 | better late than never
    2025/02/25

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    Two friends, two states, one hilarious podcast.
    Join Ryan and Brandon—a dynamic duo merging New Jersey grit with Arizona cool—as they explore cultural quirks, insights that challenge conventional wisdom and reveal unexpected truths throughout the conversation.

    In this episode:
    • Eagles exceed expectations - by light years!
    • Mayor Meme (at this point you should expect him to appear in every episode)
    • The Wonderful Adventures of Onijah Robinson
    • Another unruly AZ zoomer went viral for exposing himself (no, not like that..)

    Timestamps:
    00:00 - COLD OPEN
    01:35 - The Next Jets QB may be a retired twitch streamer
    06:23 - 'Bipolar' New Yorker raising hell overseas
    09:11 - Scottsdale teen's 3-in-1 racist tirade goes viral (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)
    12:26 - Eric Adams' finesse
    15:39 - Anti-Vaxxer tried selling snake oil to a Astronaut and a crayon eater
    18:10 - THE BIRDS BROKE THE STREAK
    20:49 - Unsolicited stats from Superbowl 59
    22:11 - Ryan attended the "Love, Hurts" parade
    28:38 - NBA ASG was ASS
    29:53 - WRAP-UP
    31:39 - FIN.

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    32 分
  • 002 | gold birds & planes
    2025/02/08

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    Join Ryan and Brandon—a dynamic duo merging New Jersey grit with Arizona cool—as they explore cultural quirks, insights that challenge conventional wisdom and reveal unexpected truths throughout the conversation.

    In this episode:
    • A Super Bowl conspiracy that doesn't involve refs
    • DEI (but not liberal)
    • A$AP Courtroom
    • The riotous saga of Bobby “Gold Bars” Menendez

    Timestamps:
    00:00 – COLD OPEN ( Not Safe For Chiefs Fans)
    00:45 – DEI: Diverse, Energetic- and Irreverent? (Not Safe for AOC stans)
    03:09 – “Dirtiest” Cities in The US
    07:45 – United & Delta Play Chicken Over Phoenix
    11:30 – A$AP Rocky's Risking It All
    14:21 – Man VS Interstate
    15:30 – Bobby “Gold Bars” Menendez
    18:56 – "Common Sense" spicy law in AZ? (Listener Discretion Advised)
    22:06 – Goonicide UPDATE (Yes, It's Safe For Work)
    22:54 – WE DISCUSS "THE BIG GAME" HERE
    26:25 – Fan Almost SMOKED by Bradley Beal’s Wife
    29:49 – Vince Carter Jersey Retirement No.2
    33:45 – We react to a very sus comment
    39:01 – FIN.

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    39 分