This episode is where everything starts to shift. We’re going all the way back—before the labels, before the language, before any of this made sense—to talk about Ryann’s earliest memories, identity, and what it felt like growing up without the words to explain it. From being labeled a “tomboy” in the 90s to that first holy shit moment of realizing “I’m a lesbian,” this episode walks through what it’s like to figure yourself out in a world that doesn’t reflect you back.

But this story doesn’t stop at coming out. Years later—married, with kids, and a life already built—things started to shift again. What began as curiosity during COVID turned into something deeper: questioning identity, discovering trans stories online, and realizing there might be more beneath the surface. We talk about the slow unraveling of that realization, the fear of what it could mean for our marriage and family, and the internal battle between staying safe and being fully seen.

We also get into the decision to pursue top surgery, what that process looked like, and the unexpected truth that followed: even after surgery, something still didn’t feel complete. That realization opened the door to an even bigger shift—one that led to hormone therapy, redefining identity, and navigating what it means to transition later in life. This isn’t a clean, linear story—it’s messy, emotional, and real in a way that so many people will recognize, whether you’re in the LGBTQ+ community or not.

This episode is Part 1 of Ryann’s transition story—focusing on the internal journey, the denial, the fear, and the moments that quietly change everything. In the next episode, we’ll get into what happens when those internal shifts become external—coming out, telling the kids, and how it all actually unfolds.

New episodes drop every Wednesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss what’s next, and find us on Instagram to be part of the conversation. We’d love to hear your questions!

Julie is a podcast manager who helps people tell the stories they’ve been too scared to share. If you’ve been thinking about starting a podcast… this is your sign. https://juliebeckllc.com/