Sometimes the hardest seasons are the ones that make us. In this episode, I share a story I’ve never told publicly, the moment everything I’d worked for almost came undone during my student teaching. What started as a field trip turned into one of the most difficult and defining chapters of my life. Through betrayal, uncertainty, and months of fighting to graduate, I discovered something I didn’t know I had: the ability to stand up, to keep going, and to find strength in the middle of conflict. Drawing from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and the timeless Hero’s Journey, this episode explores how our greatest struggles often become the very things that shape us, and how, as the comedian Katt Williams once said, that’s what every hero of every story has in common.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

We love verses like Jeremiah 29:11. You know, the ones that promise a future and a hope. They’re comforting, clean, easy to print on a mug or a graduation card. But what happens when life doesn’t match the verse? When the “plan” falls apart and the promises feel hollow? In this episode, Coffee Mug Theology, I talk about how we’ve turned ancient words of exile and endurance into quick-fix slogans, and what gets lost in translation when we do. This one’s about loss, anger, meaning, and what it really means to find faith when the plan stops working.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

We grow up on stories that tell us life is about slaying the dragon and winning the prize. Disney fairytales, men’s groups, even church slogans repeat the same script: the battle is always “out there.” But Joseph Campbell flipped the story, reminding us that the real dragon is within, and the way forward isn’t conquest, it’s following your bliss.

In this episode, I wrestle with what that actually means for men, fathers, and anyone trying to move beyond sea-level living.

We’ll talk about shallow scripts, quiet desperation, and the deeper kind of dragon-slaying that leads not to prizes, but to presence, aliveness, and depth.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

In this episode, I step into the shadows with Marvel’s Thunderbolts, a story of misfits, scars, and the power of presence. From Sentry’s battle with the Void to Yelena’s moment of recognition, the film raises a question we all wrestle with: what do we do with the darkness inside of us? Some days we try to bury it, some days we stare right into it, and some days we need someone else to remind us we don’t have to face it alone.

Along the way, I reflect on Robin Williams, both the roles he played and the quiet, compassionate ways he showed up for others in real life and on Jesus, who never rushed people out of their pain but entered it with them. Together, they remind us that empathy doesn’t mean fixing or rushing the darkness away. It means staying. It means naming the shadow without shame. And sometimes, it means discovering that our misfit-ness, our scars, and even our Voids might be the very places where healing begins.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

What do you do when the world feels too heavy? When you're tired, discouraged, or just numb from the noise?

If you're me… you watch America’s Got Talent Golden Buzzer moments on YouTube. And you cry. Every time.

In this episode, I’m sharing a surprising ritual that’s become one of the most healing parts of my life. We’ll talk about how a talent show, yes, a talent show has become a space for emotional release, joy, defiant hope, and sacred connection. We’ll explore the deeper psychological and spiritual reasons why these moments hit so hard, why they make so many of us weep, and what they reveal about our deepest longings: to be seen, to be celebrated, and to belong.

This episode is a love letter to awe. A confetti-covered sermon. And a reminder that joy is not weakness, it’s resistance.

If you’ve ever cried during a viral audition clip, this one’s for you.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

Sometimes a song finds you when you need it most. I had never heard Wrabel’s “The Village” until I stumbled across a dance group performing to it on Britain’s Got Talent. What started as a quick break from writing turned into something deeper, a mirror for the world we’re living in right now. The song, originally written for the trans community, echoed wider truths as I watched dancers of all different backgrounds embody it on stage. And it left me with a haunting thought I can’t shake: there’s something wrong with the village. In this episode, I sit with that lyric, wrestle with what it means for us today, and ask where we go from here.

If this episode meant something to you, I’d love it if you’d take a second to like, subscribe, and leave a review, it really helps more people find the show.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

This episode started as a response to something I heard on a Christian podcast about God’s discipline. The words weren’t new, I’ve heard the same script my whole life, but they brought back memories of how deeply this theology shaped me. Growing up, I learned to see every disappointment and setback as punishment, every “no” as God disciplining me. What really grabbed me, though, was how seamlessly the hosts moved from talking about God’s discipline to how they plan to spank their child, as if one naturally flowed into the other. That hit me hard, because I know the damage that both of those messages can cause. In this episode, I share why spanking doesn’t produce wisdom but only breeds domestication, what scripture actually means when it talks about “the rod,” and why a God of love can’t be confused with a God of fear. At the heart of it all is this question: what kind of legacy do we want to leave? One rooted in control, or one rooted in trust and love?

If this episode meant something to you, I’d love it if you’d take a second to like, subscribe, and leave a review, it really helps more people find the show.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

In this episode, I sit with the words of Thomas Merton, an American Trappist monk, writer, and mystic whose reflections on faith, identity, and community continue to resonate decades after his death. Merton warns against what he calls “the heresy of individualism,” the temptation to define ourselves only by what we’re not, to build our lives on separation and judgment. His challenge struck me deeply, because I’ve lived that temptation: shrinking myself, building an island of “no,” and cutting myself off from connection. In this conversation, I explore what it means to move off the island, to see others as mirrors, and to rediscover the breath of the Spirit by starting with yes.

If this episode meant something to you, I’d love it if you’d take a second to like, subscribe, and leave a review, it really helps more people find the show.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.