What happens when the church you love starts squashing your faith?

0:00 – Intro: Faith. No Filter.

4:20 – The badge of brokenness

8:40 – Burden of the listener

13:00 – Reading the forbidden book

17:20 – Rejecting an unkind God

21:40 – Why history points to Jesus

26:00 – Nuns, missionaries, and reality

30:20 – From pastoral carer to deacon

34:40 – A quiet calling

37:40 – A sneaking suspicion of hope

In this episode of Filthy Hope, hosts Rev Ness Williams-Henke and Rev Jon Humphries continue their deep dive with Sara, a woman with a "universe-sized brain" and a heart for the hurting. Sarah opens up about her "invisible badge", a natural gift for pastoral care that draws out the rawest stories from strangers everywhere she goes, from chemists and museums. They explore the tension of living with an intellectual faith while navigating a mental health journey that derailed her academic career.

The conversation turns radically honest as Sara describes her decision to walk away from a church whose teachings clashed with her beliefs, including predestination, the exclusion of women from leadership and the church's stance on same-sex marriage. From rejecting a God who "only chooses some" to embracing an inclusive call to the diaconate, Sara reflects on what it means to choose faith not from certainty but from something more honest: the decision to keep believing even when the questions don't go away.

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