What if "home" isn't a place you return to, but something you build along the way? In this solo episode, me, a bilingual writer born in Jinan, shaped in Auckland, London, and Lisbon, and now back in China, revisits the classic story of diaspora. Drawing on William Safran, James Clifford, and Avtar Brah, and on the Portuguese idea of saudade, she explores why returning to the homeland can feel like a second diaspora, and why writing may be the truest way of belonging.

What we covered:

1. The classic diaspora story: collective memory, the homeland myth, and the dream of return

2. Roots vs. routes: a life told as a chain of cities (Jinan, Auckland, London, Lisbon)

3. The new self-initiated, third-culture writer, and how this differs from older diaspora literature

4. Saudade in Lisbon, and how it differs from East Asian homesickness tied to family duty

5. "Homing desire" vs. desire for a homeland

   6. The return: becoming a "stranger in my hometown"

   
   

   References

• Diaspora (classic model): a dispersed community that keeps a shared memory of an idealized homeland and aspires to return (Safran).

• • Saudade: a Portuguese term for a deep longing for something lost, or something that may never have existed.

  • Third culture: a personal space built from several cultures, belonging fully to none of them.

  • Secondary diaspora: the feeling of being displaced even after physically returning.

  • Digital diaspora: scattered communities formed through blogs, podcasts, and self-publishing.

• Safran, William. "Diasporas in Modern Societies: Myths of Homeland and Return." Diaspora: A Journal of Transnational Studies 1, no. 1 (1991): 83–99.

• Clifford, James. "Diasporas." Cultural Anthropology 9, no. 3 (1994): 302–338.

• Brah, Avtar. Cartographies of Diaspora: Contesting Identities. London: Routledge, 1996.

• Hall, Stuart. "Cultural Identity and Diaspora." In Identity: Community, Culture, Difference, ed. Jonathan Rutherford. London: Lawrence & Wishart, 1990.

• Brubaker, Rogers. "The 'Diaspora' Diaspora." Ethnic and Racial Studies 28, no. 1 (2005): 1–19.

• • Gilroy, Paul. The Black Atlantic: Modernity and Double Consciousness. Harvard University Press, 1993.

  Chinese diaspora and identity

  • Ang, Ien. On Not Speaking Chinese: Living Between Asia and the West. Routledge, 2001.

  • Ong, Aihwa. Flexible Citizenship: The Cultural Logics of Transnationality. Duke University Press, 1999.

  • Wang Gungwu. Don't Leave Home: Migration and the Chinese. Times Academic Press, 2001.

  • Tu Weiming. "Cultural China: The Periphery as the Center." Daedalus 120, no. 2 (1991).

  Saudade and Portuguese culture

  • Michaëlis de Vasconcelos, Carolina. A Saudade Portuguesa (1914). The classic Portuguese essay on the concept.

  • Pessoa, Fernando. The Book of Disquiet. A Lisbon classic of longing and displacement.

  • Fado was inscribed on UNESCO's Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity in 2011.

  Watch

  • Pico Iyer, "Where Is Home?" (TED, 2013).

  • Taiye Selasi, "Don't Ask Where I'm From, Ask Where I'm a Local" (TEDGlobal, 2014).

  Credits and connect

  • Written and hosted by: Camellia Yang

  • Subscribe to Chiwi Journal

Have you ever looked back at your life path and realized that your most "calculated" choices were actually driven by an invisible hand?

Sparked by Paolo Sorrentino’s film Parthenope and its haunting theme song, I reflect on a decade of wandering, from an improbable visa in New Zealand, to a chaos-filled leap to London, to a sudden surrender on the cobblestone streets of Lisbon. We talk about why our rational brains construct neat narratives after the fact, how the Portuguese concept of Saudade offers a way out of the rat race, and why surrendering to your life’s script might just be the ultimate form of freedom.

• Film: Parthenope (2024), directed by Paolo Sorrentino.

• Music: "Era già tutto previsto" by Riccardo Cocciante (1975).

• The Stanford Commencement Address (2005): Steve Jobs on connecting the dots looking backward rather than forward.

• Philosophy & Theology:

  • Nietzsche: Amor Fati ("Love of Fate") — embracing every joy, tragedy, and setback as essential to your story.

  • Buddhism: Hetu-Pratyaya (因缘和合) — the interdependence of causes and conditions coming to fruition.

  • Taoism: Wu Wei (无为) — effortless action through alignment with the natural flow of the cosmos.

• The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus: Essential reading on finding joy and meaning within inescapable reality.

• The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa: Written by Portugal’s master poet in Lisbon, exploring the depth of Saudade and existence.

Enjoying the show? Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and share this episode with someone who needs to let go of the wheel today :)

What if the universe isn't hostile, nor is it benevolent, but completely indifferent to human existence?

In this episode, I talked about two masterpieces of existential science fiction: the 1972 novel Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, and its legendary 1979 film adaptation, Stalker, directed by Andrei Tarkovsky.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• The Cosmic Picnic Metaphor: Why human civilization might just be an anthill next to someone else's discarded trash.

• Tarkovsky’s Visual Metaphysics: Analyzing the iconic stream scene in Stalker and the submerged remnants of human history.

• The Room vs. The Golden Sphere: Why characters hesitate when faced with a place that grants their deepest subconscious desires.

• Resisting the Absurd: Redrick Schuhart’s desperate final cry for humanity and how we find connection in an indifferent world.

Key Quotes:

"We are simply apes who picked up a discarded lighter. We know how to strike the wheel to create a spark, but we lack the foundational knowledge to grasp the underlying physics."

"Happiness for everybody, free, and may no one be left behind!" — Redrick Schuhart, Roadside Picnic

"When the universe offers no care, choosing to care for one another becomes our ultimate act of resistance."

Featured Works:

• Book: Roadside Picnic (1972) by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky

• Film: Stalker (1979) directed by Andrei Tarkovsky

• Philosophical Reference: The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps others find the show!

Fresh from watching Christopher Nolan’s epic film The Odyssey, I'm taking a deep dive into the cinematic logic of one of modern cinema’s most misunderstood auteurs.

Looking across his filmography, Nolan is a master structural engineer who uses unyielding logic to chase a singular emotional obsession.

This episode traces Nolan’s complete creative trajectory: from questioning the validity of perception (Memento), to engineering miracles within physical laws (Inception, Interstellar), to leading humanity back toward a shared spiritual origin (The Odyssey). We unpack how he builds a rigid, cold physical reality only to pierce through dimensions using the most genuine human emotions: love, sacrifice, and the search for home.

References

Memento, 2000: Pay attention to the dual narrative structure (black-and-white linear vs colour reverse-chronological) and how Lenny builds a fragile external memory system via tattoos and annotated Polaroids.

The Prestige, 2006: A study on the cost of "miracles", contrasting Angier’s continuous cycle of self-duplication and murder with the Borden brothers' shared, physical self-mutilation.

Inception, 2010: Examines dream architecture (e.g., Escher staircases) and Cobb’s psychological isolation in Limbo.

Interstellar, 2014: Features theoretical physics calculated by Kip Thorne (the tesseract, time dilation, and the black hole "Gargantua") used to frame love as a dimensional force.

Oppenheimer, 2023: A exploration of Promethean technical hubris and its irreversible consequences.

The Odyssey, 2026): Nolan's adaptation starring Matt Damon. Focuses on the breakdown of Xenia (the sacred Greek law of hospitality), the weight of military genius, and the hero's ultimate surrender of ego.

The Odyssey — Homer (Transl. Emily Wilson / Robert Fagles / E.V. Rieu): Focus on Books 9–12 to understand the primal heroic cycle: Departure → Ordeal → Awakening → Return.

The Hero with a Thousand Faces — Joseph Campbell: A systematic breakdown of the "Monomyth" structure across human history.

Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious — Carl Jung: Essential reading for understanding how story archetypes resonate across cultures and eras.

Zhongshu (@ZhugeYY) Interviews Christopher Nolan: "Are you a bard for a civilization at dusk?" The debate over whether modern films impose contemporary guilt/atonement onto ancient heroism, Nolan's critique of "amateur film criticism" that invalidates storytelling mechanisms once identified, and his reframing of classical Xenia (hospitality) through the lens of the Golden Rule.

The Science of Interstellar — Kip Thorne: Detailed breakdown of the physics equations and visual models used to create the film’s cosmic environments.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating, and share it with your fellow film lovers.💗

What if our awe of the sacred isn’t a one-way street? What if, to an immortal observer, the fleeting intensity of a fragile human life is the true miracle?

In this episode, I'm taking you to a quiet, cold night on a rocky hill in Athens, sitting beneath the golden lights of the Parthenon. From that vantage point, we explore a shift in perspective.

• The View from Athens: Solitude, the Mediterranean night wind, and sitting opposite the Parthenon.

• The Two-Way Mirror: What does a human life look like to a entity that lives forever?

• Cosmic Compassion Defined: The subtle shift from personal heartbreak to witnessing the vast, beautiful, and painful canvas of human history.

• Wisdom of the Ancients: How Existentialism, Eastern philosophy, and Stoicism all point toward the same quiet truth.

• Grown-Up Love: Moving past the youthful urge to fix the world, and building a warm sanctuary in the present moment.

  
  

"To an eternal being, human life must seem breathtaking. We’re here for a heartbeat, yet we burn with incredible passion. Perhaps we’re their shooting stars: fleeting, brilliant, and unforgettable simply because we don't last."

"Cosmic compassion strips away your heroic fantasies, but it replaces them with a clear boundary. You cannot save a vast, chaotic civilization, but you can build a small, warm sanctuary for the people walking beside you."

• Stoicism: Finding peace by distinguishing what is within our control from what is not.

• Existential Melancholy: Accepting impermanence and the inherent absurdity of existence without losing tenderness.

• Unattached Compassion: Caring deeply for the world while acknowledging that struggle is an integral part of life's tapestry.

Kia Ora, Ni Hao and Hello, welcome to the Chiwi Journal Podcast. I’m your host, Camellia Yang.

Today’s guest is Dawn Musil, a Network School active member, consultant in natural capital, writer on biotech and community, and someone with an extraordinary personal journey—from growing up in a cult, to Oxford, to McKinsey, to building businesses inside an experimental intentional community.

This conversation moves through identity, community, resilience, curiosity, and the courage to rewrite your own story. If you’re interested in alternative education, Network States communities, or simply how people rebuild their lives with openness and grit, this episode is for you.

• Leaving a high-control cult at seventeen and rebuilding life with no map, no support system, and no blueprint
• What Network School feels like from the inside
• Micro-businesses emerging in community: bikes, scooters, smoothies, and more
• Natural capital and what “working with nature” actually looks like
• Behind the scenes of McKinsey’s AI tool launch
• Oxford’s enduring traditions and why they still matter
• Beekeeping, insects, and the search for Malaysia’s legendary honey harvesters
• Long-distance bike riding and the generosity of strangers
• The rising importance of community in modern life
• The note she’d leave for her younger self

Links/Resources Mentioned:

• Network School
• Connect with Dawn Musil on LinkedIn and IG
• Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover
• A Glimpse of Tomorrow: Life Inside Network School
• Network State Conference 2025: James of Ârc
• The Skoll Scholarship
• Ellison Institute of Technology Oxford
• The Most Dangerous Job in the World Harvesting Honey from Giant Killer Bees
• The cult of McKinsey: Belief, Belonging, and the Architecture of Community
• Venture for America

Last month at the Hamburg Literature Festival, I heard Dan Brown discuss his latest novel, a thriller that explores what happens to consciousness when the body dies. But this isn't just fiction. The book weaves together real neuroscience research, declassified CIA experiments, and a theory that challenges everything we think we know about the mind.

What if your brain doesn't create consciousness but just receives it? What if the reality you perceive is heavily filtered, and death simply removes that filter? And what happens when intelligence agencies try to weaponise these ideas?

In this episode, I break down the science behind nonlocal consciousness theory, the GABA filter mechanism, near-death experiences, sudden savant syndrome, and the CIA's decades-long experiments with remote viewing. Whether these ideas resonate as cutting-edge science or elaborate pseudoscience, they raise questions we all face: What are we? And what happens when we die?

Key concepts:

Nonlocal Consciousness Theory — Consciousness as a fundamental universal element, not generated by the brain

GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid) — The neurotransmitter that filters reality and prevents sensory overload

Cocktail Party Effect — How we hear everything but only consciously process what matters

Habituation — The brain's energy-saving mechanism that ignores constant stimuli

Near-Death Experiences (NDEs) — What happens when GABA levels drop to zero before death

Out-of-Body Experiences (OBEs) — Consciousness detaching from physical constraints

Postictal Bliss — The expanded consciousness state after epileptic seizures

Retrocausality — The theory that effects can precede causes; time as non-linear

Sudden Savant Syndrome — Acquiring extraordinary skills after head injuries

CIA Stargate Project — The real Cold War program studying remote viewing (1970s-1990s)

Threshold Project — The fictional CIA program weaponising consciousness through brain-machine interfaces

H2M Interface — Human-to-Machine brain interfaces based on nanoelectric biofilaments

Remote Viewing — Using consciousness to perceive distant locations

Psychonauts — Test subjects whose consciousness operates at the edge of death

Books Referenced:

• The Secret of Secrets by Dan Brown
• The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
• The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley
• The Wreck of the Titan by Morgan Robertson (1898)
• Ecclesiastes (Biblical text)

• 
  

📝 Read the full article: https://chiwijournal.substack.com/p/dan-brown-the-secret-of-secrets

Questions to ponder

• What if consciousness was never contained in your body to begin with?
• If death is just a filter being removed, what reality would you see?
• Can science eliminate our fear of death? And if so, how would that change humanity?
• Are psychedelic experiences hallucinations, or glimpses of "more reality"?
• Should consciousness be studied, or is weaponising it crossing an ethical line?

If this episode made you think differently about consciousness and death, please share it with someone who's ever wondered what happens when we die.

Today on the podcast, I’m talking with my friend David Ridley-Parris, a coach who helps people navigate life’s biggest transitions and design careers that truly align with their identity.

After years on Wall Street and in Silicon Valley, David left the corporate grind for a slower-paced life in Portugal and a new calling in grief coaching. In this episode, he shares how personal loss shaped his path, why grief coaching is about envisioning the future, and how AI, group coaching, and community are transforming his practice.

🔑 Key Points

• Why David left Wall Street and Silicon Valley to start anew in Portugal.

• David’s coaching philosophy: strategic questioning for self-discovery.

• Grief coaching as a forward-looking practice — beyond therapy’s clinical lens.

• The concepts of liminal space, primary loss, and secondary loss.

• Insights from working with global clients and the LGBTQ+ community.

• Group coaching: peer accountability, confidentiality, and shared growth.

• How AI tools enhance coaching through summaries and action tracking.

• Professional growth opportunities and the forthcoming Grief Coaching Network.

  
  

• Connect with David on LinkedIn

• Navigate Your Path Forward: David’s website

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