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Celebrating 250: One Centimeter Peter at a Time

Celebrating 250: One Centimeter Peter at a Time

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EPISODE SUMMARY Welcome back, BS Freeloaders! On this special pre-Fourth of July edition of the podcast, Brian and Mel are getting ready for America’s upcoming 250th birthday. Between Brian’s deeply disturbing holiday wardrobe plans, a review of some truly unhinged patriotic merchandise, and a collection of the absolute wildest news stories the internet has to offer, this is one milestone celebration you won't forget. HOUSEKEEPING & PROMOS The New UBS Store is Open! Head over to tr.ee/ubsstore to check out our brand-new collection, featuring classic logo tees, the infamous "T-shirts are coming" shirt, coffee mugs, and more. Ditch the Ads! Tired of hearing extra ad breaks and Brian's dogs interrupting the show? Upgrade your status from a freeloader to a patron at patreon.com/unadulteratedbs to get completely ad-free episodes and access to our weekly aftershow. TIMELINE & SEGMENT BREAKDOWNS Segment 1: Red, White, Blue, and Speedo Thongs Brian's Patriotism: Brian reveals his plans to celebrate America's 250th birthday by walking around all weekend in a red, white, and blue flag Speedo thong, much to Mel's visible horror. The Sun Prairie Debate: The hosts try to figure out if Sun Prairie has actual holiday fireworks, or if they just have to settle for the local midget car races—which Brian originally thought involved little people buzzing around a track like bees. Bizarre 250th Merch: A breakdown of the strangest officially sanctioned and political merchandise on the market, including a $75 rug made from recycled fire hoses, a rocks glass with a literal bullet embedded in the side, and a 12-part patriotic comic book series featuring a confusingly placed Alexander Hamilton look-alike and wrestling icon Booker T. Insane Events: A look at Donald Trump's massive 860,000-shell fireworks display in Washington D.C. designed to break a Guinness World Record over a dyed-green reflecting pool, followed by Gillette, Wyoming’s Insanity Fest—the premier destination for half-car drag racing and extreme lawnmower racing. Segment 2: This Week in BS Articles The Porcelain Trap (Mel's Story): A California man drops his sunglasses down a campground vault toilet (a permanent portapotty with no plumbing), dives in after them, and gets securely trapped inside the sewage holding tank for 15 minutes before emergency crews pull him out for an emergency fire-hose decontamination. The Arby's Outbreak (Brian's Story): An Oklahoma Arby's manager faces felony poisoning charges after security footage captures her intentionally spitting into a customer's sandwich while suffering from an active, visible herpes outbreak. To make matters worse, the victim unknowingly shared the sandwich with her family, including her mother-in-law in hospice care. The Caped Crusader of Jalisco (Brian's Story): A real-life "Mexican Batman" is turning heads in Jalisco, where multiple suspected motorcycle thieves have been found beaten, duct-taped to street poles, and spray-painted with vigilante messages across their faces and bare chests. Not the Bees! (Mel's Story): An 18-wheeler carrying 50,000 pounds of cargo flips over in an Orange County, Texas neighborhood, unleashing a massive swarm of an estimated 2 million honeybees and forcing local residents to lock themselves indoors. The One-Centimeter Fundraiser (Brian's Story): A North Carolina man claiming the undisputed title of "World's Smallest Penis" (measuring 0.38 inches fully erect) launches a GoFundMe to pay for enlargement surgery. After facing online skeptics, he chose to prove his medical condition by aggressively blasting unsolicited photographic evidence to his doubters. Segment 3: Outro & Local Plugs Rate & Review: If you love the chaos, remember to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Share your thoughts on social media using the hashtag #ubsfivestar so we can read your review on an upcoming episode! Live Trivia with Brian: Catch Brian hosting live trivia for Premier Trivia every Wednesday night at 6:30 PM out on the patio at Primal 'Cue in Sun Prairie! Stop out for amazing barbecue, cold drinks, and a great night of entertainment. Coming Soon: Stay tuned for our highly anticipated upcoming lost episode, What is Greg! LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Official UBS Store: tr.ee/ubsstore UBS Patreon Community: patreon.com/unadulteratedbs America 250 Celebration Pack: store.america250.org Shop 250 America: shop250america.com D.C. Fireworks Spectacular News: yahoo.com/news/politics Insanity Fest Motorsports Thrill Show: cam-plex.com/events MUSIC CREDITS Rock Thing by Creo is licensed under a Attribution License. (Creo - Rock Thing on YouTube). No Pants Friday by Lee Rosevere is licensed under a Attribution 4.0 International License. Da Rock by Mr Smith is licensed under a Attribution 4.0 International License. Octopussy by Juanitos is licensed under a Attribution 2.0 France License. Faster Does It by Kevin MacLeod is licensed ...
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