It’s the season of love… or the season of absolute torture, depending on who you ask.

In this debut episode, Kelsey and Rebecca get stuck into their most chaotic, scandalous, and jaw-dropping Valentine’s Day experiences. They’ve dealt with cheating exes, full-blown emotional terrorists, and the kind of men who belong in case studies. Kelsey is actually looking forward to Valentine’s this year, while Rebecca is trying (and failing) to recall a single romantic experience that didn’t end in absolute carnage.

And if that wasn’t enough, Swarovski is out here acting like Valentine’s Day is a national emergency, sending dramatic warning emails letting people “opt out” of their deeply triggering marketing, because apparently, singleness is something you need to be protected from.

Oh, and Kelsey’s first crush? Damien from The Den. Make of that what you will.

It’s bold, hilarious, and the perfect episode to survive the most cursed holiday of the year. Whether you’re in love, single, or just here for the scandal, this one’s for you.

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Irrational fears, everyone has them, but some are more unhinged than others.

Before getting into the madness, Rebecca shares a shambolic leftover story from Episode 1, because apparently, her Valentine’s disasters didn’t end there. This one involves an ex, a 5-minute reunion in Killarney, and the absolute state of a “To My Girlfriend” card from a man who was, in fact, not her boyfriend (nor would he ever be). Naturally, this reminds Kelsey of the opposite nightmare, an ex who actually was her boyfriend but handed her a birthday card that read “To My Friend.”

Then, the girls dive into irrational fears, and a clear pattern emerges: Rebecca’s are catastrophic, life-threatening and straight out of a Final Destination movie, while Kelsey’s are… butterflies and jelly. Rebecca is convinced she’ll die in a freak bus crash into a river, a bathtub disaster straight out of Coronation Street, or a roof collapsing at any moment, while Kelsey just wants to live in a world where she doesn’t have to think about winged creatures, questionable food textures or the deep psychological horror that is claymation.

It’s deranged, outrageous, and full of non stop laughter - if nothing else, at least you’ll feel less mad about your own irrational fears.

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First kisses. Cringey, terrifying, and in some cases, highly organised. Rebecca recalls her militant first shift, because at that age, you just had to get it over with. Meanwhile, Kelsey’s was peak Irish culture: at the back of the bus, obviously.

Then, somehow, they end up discussing Sir Tom Jones (hear Rebecca out), Kelsey relives how Rebecca ruined Sabrina Carpenter’s Espresso within hours of its release, and they get slightly derailed by the fact that Viagra is freely available, while women can’t even get antibiotics for basic health issues.

Oh, and Rebecca might have a very controversial take on Paul Mescal’s level of stardom. You’ve been warned. No plan, no theme, just an absolute scream and questionable opinions.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.