On this CORNDOWN I get started talking about the hassle of maintaining one’s own hotel rooms and how much money it seems to pull right out of my own pocket, with wastedmemory chiming in about his own mix-ups at a couple of different and/or same places. We drift into some strange normal sounding calls, where I keep getting calls from the nineties and he jumps ahead into Y2K and beyond. A lot of the middle turns into an obsession with me trying to figure out who’s wearing a hat, whuppy weighing in with his own Jim Hat checks, and some people flat-out denying hats. From there it spreads out into food problems, like odd burgers, rubberized stuff, and I get pinned down. Toward the end, everyone gets in on it: ButtEye shows up looking for a boyfriend, Matthew4 has tomatoes and lag, snappy bakes and whuppy argue systems and names, and I close out with drive-thru hat checks one last time.

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This one is a slow start with failed boat houseguest problems, there’s talk of medical violence, and appreciation comes across in uncomfortable ways. Eventually we get going when food turns up stuffed in shoes, pockets, even wallets. There’s a slight obsession with stoves and bricks cooking eggs. Then Denny’s gets some classic bribes, we run into fake versions of their food, and wasted gets sick from found leftovers. Whuppy gets his first broken leg, we uncover ghostly kitchens, goat salmon, and haunted burritos. It’s good.

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In this episode luggage bags get grabbed, cars seized, hotel rooms snatched up, even food is being treated like it doesn’t belong to you. There are calls about future reservations, with people talking, conversating, chatting and confusing the front desk. Insurance rates get bumped, a smoke alarm goes off, and someone promises me this idea of guaranteed internet fame. Other normal things like cat ointment, copper wire, and carbon-fiber food get discussed normally. Burgers get tossed and refunded, because you have to, and I end up “married” by mistake. Of course, even the government shows up to claim a room. It’s all about losing control of your own stuff in funny original normal good ways.

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