Boundaries & Self-Trust: Starting Over After Losing Yourself

What happens when supporting someone else's career means losing your own voice entirely? In this conversation with military spouse and author Heather Sweeney, we talk about the both/and of military life—holding community and loneliness, pride and resentment, grief and relief all at once.

Heather shares her story of navigating anxiety, identity loss, and starting over after a 13-year marriage ended. From seven-month in-house separation to rediscovering her writing career under her maiden name, this is a raw, honest conversation about boundaries, self-trust, and learning that you can initiate a divorce AND still grieve what you lost.

In this episode, you'll hear:

- The both/and of military divorce: "My condolences and congratulations"

- How to rebuild self-trust and voice after years of selflessness

- Why boundaries erode when you're always saying yes to someone else's needs

- The cycle that kept them stuck: no time to talk before deployment, during deployment, or after

- Navigating transitions when you're holding grief and gratitude simultaneously

- The moment she knew: "We are not partners in this"

- Practical tools for starting over and rebuilding identity during major life changes

Follow It's Both for weekly conversations on navigating transitions, anxiety, overthinking, and personal growth—without toxic positivity.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Heather Sweeney on Instagram, visit her website, follow her on Substack, & order her book

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