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Welcome to Episode 3 of my Book Series on "You Are the One You've Been Waiting For" by Dr. Richard Schwartz.

Make sure to catch up on episodes 1 & 2 first!

This is Part 1 of Chapter 3- Courageous Love & Doomed Relationships.

In this episode I cover:

What are Neo-exiles?

Identifying parts of us that become exiled because they are not acceptable to our partner;

Reflecting on how we have done the same to our partners

The consequences of neo-exiles in relationships

The role of abandonment anxiety

The 2 roles you may take on when experiencing anxiety in a relationship:

1- over-controlling, criticizing, hyperawareness, demanding closeness

2-becoming the one who is least-invested: hyper-independence, avoiding closeness, seeking distance

Actual examples from the book and couples therapy

Reflection Questions:

What parts have been exiled because they are not accepted by my partner

What parts of my partner have they exiled because I find them unnacceptable

Which role do I take on in the relationship (as stated above)

What cycles do my partner and I get into because of neo-exiles

Get this book: available on Kindle, Audible and Paperback

https://a.co/d/8It64Xd

[Raquel is an IFS level 1 trained therapist but is not affiliated directly with this book, or the IFS institute. This book review series is purely for educational purposes based on her experience as a couples and IFS therapist and her personal joy of reading]

Disclaimer: Although I am a licensed therapist, the information in this podcast is not therapy and not intended to replace mental health counseling.

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